Children -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction; Maine -- Juvenile fiction
Ah, yes! she was so young! and then that voice died away, and knew that
it had no more to say. What--what was this, to think of urging a young
girl, still almost a child, to give up the station of life in which she
had lived happy and joyous, and go away with a stranger, far from her
own home and her own people, to share a struggling life, with no certain
assurance of anything, save love alone? What was this but a baseness, of
which no honest man could be capable? If,--if even I had read her glance
aright,--last night,--or was it a year ago? Still, it was but a thing of
a moment, the light springing up of a tiny fire of good will, that would
die out in a few days after I was gone, for want of fuel; even if it
were not snatched out strongly by other hands, as I had put out those
climbing flames last night. How her startled eyes sought mine! How the
colour flashed into her face when I spoke. No! no! Of that I must not
think, if my manhood was to stay in me!
This other, then, who was coming,--this man would turn her thoughts. She
would yield, as is the custom for young maidens in France, with no
thought that it might be otherwise. He was no longer young,--he had
already been once married,--I looked up at this moment, I do not know
by what chance, and my eyes fell on a long glass, what they call a
cheval-glass in France, my dear, showing the whole figure. I think no
harm, seeing this was so long ago, in saying that I appeared to
advantage in such a view, being well-made, and perhaps not without other
good points. This will seem strangely trifling to you, my child, who see
nothing but the soul of man or woman; but I have always loved a good
figure, and never felt shame to thank God for giving me one. My clothes
were good, having been bought in Paris as we came through. I have never
made any claim to pass for a gentleman, Melody, but yet I think I made a
fair enough show of one, that night at least. And being so constituted,
I sat staring at my image in the mirror, and wondering like a fool if
the other man were as good-looking. This would be like a slight crust of
contentment,--sad enough at that,--forming for a moment over the black
depth of sorrow that was my heart; and next moment the pain would stab
through it again, till I could have cried out but for the shame of it;
and so the night wore by, and the morning found me still there. I had
learned little, save the one thing that was all the world,--that I could
not commit a baseness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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