Roughing it De LuxeCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Roughing it De Luxe
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; California -- Description and travel; Grand Canyon (Ariz.) -- Description and travel
The parade moves on. All at once you notice that the person immediately
ahead of you has apparently ridden right over the wall of the canyon. A
moment ago his arched back loomed before you; now he is utterly gone. It
is at this point that some tourists tender their resignations--to take
effect immediately. To the credit of the sex, be it said, the
statistics show that fewer women quit here than men. But nearly always
there is some man who remembers where he left his umbrella or something,
and he goes back after it and forgets to return.
In our crowd there was one person who left us here. He was a circular
person; about forty per cent of him, I should say, rhymed with jelly. He
climbed right down off his mule. He said:
"I'm not scared myself, you understand, but I've just recalled that my
wife is a nervous woman. She'd have a fit if she knew I was taking this
trip! I love my wife, and for her sake I will not go down this canyon,
dearly as I would love to." And with that he headed for the hotel. I
wanted to go with him. I wanted to go along with him and comfort him and
help him have his chill, and if necessary send a telegram for him to his
wife--she was in Pittsburgh--telling her that all was well. But I did
not. I kept on. I have been trying to figure out ever since whether this
showed courage on my part, or cowardice.
Over the ridge and down the steep declivity beyond goes your mule,
slipping a little. He is reared back until his rump almost brushes the
trail; he grunts mild protests at every lurching step and grips his
shoecalks into the half-frozen path. You reflect that thousands of
persons have already done this thing; that thousands of others--men,
women and children--are going to do it, and that no serious accident has
yet occurred--which is some comfort, but not much. The thought comes to
you that, after all, it is a very bright and beautiful world you are
leaving behind. You turn your head to give it a long, lingering
farewell, and you try to put your mind on something cheerful--such as
your life insurance. Then something happens.
The trail, that has been slanting at a downward angle which is a trifle
steeper than a ship's ladder, but not quite so steep perhaps as a board
fence, takes an abrupt turn to the right. You duck your head and go
through a little tunnel in the rock, patterned on the same general
design of the needle's eye that is going to give so many of our
prominent captains of industry trouble in the hereafter. And as you
emerge on the lower side you forget all about your life-insurance papers
and freeze to your pommel with both hands, and cram your poor cold feet
into the stirrups--even in warm weather they'll be good and cold--and
all your vital organs come up in your throat, where you can taste them.
If anybody had shot me through the middle just about then he would have
inflicted only a flesh wound.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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