English essays -- 19th century; Great Britain -- Social life and customs; London (England) -- Description and travel
It is these things, my dear sir, which serve to make a man cynical. I do
conscientiously believe that had I cashed the Major's cheque there
would have been a difficulty about payment on the part of the respected
bankers on whom he drew. On your honor and conscience, do you think that
old widow who was walking from Tunbridge Wells to Harlow had a daughter
ill, and was an honest woman at all? The daughter couldn't always, you
see, be being ill, and her mother on her way to her dear child through
Hyde Park. In the same way some habitual sneerers may be inclined to
hint that the cabman's story was an invention--or at any rate, choose
to ride off (so to speak) on the doubt. No. My opinion, I own, is
unfavorable as regards the widow from Tunbridge Wells, and Major
Delamere; but, believing the cabman was honest, I am glad to think he
was not injured by the reader's most humble servant.
What a queer, exciting life this rogue's march must be: this attempt of
the bad half-crowns to get into circulation! Had my distinguished friend
the Major knocked at many doors that morning, before operating on mine?
The sport must be something akin to the pleasure of tiger or elephant
hunting. What ingenuity the sportsman must have in tracing his
prey--what daring and caution in coming upon him! What coolness in
facing the angry animal (for, after all, a man on whom you draw a cheque
a bout portant will be angry). What a delicious thrill of triumph, if
you can bring him down! If I have money at the banker's and draw for
a portion of it over the counter, that is mere prose--any dolt can do
that. But, having no balance, say I drive up in a cab, present a cheque
at Coutts's, and, receiving the amount, drive off? What a glorious
morning's sport that has been! How superior in excitement to the common
transactions of every-day life! . . . I must tell a story; it is against
myself, I know, but it WILL out, and perhaps my mind will be the easier.
More than twenty years ago, in an island remarkable for its verdure, I
met four or five times one of the most agreeable companions with whom
I have passed a night. I heard that evil times had come upon this
gentleman; and, overtaking him in a road near my own house one evening,
I asked him to come home to dinner, In two days, he was at my door
again. At breakfast-time was this second appearance. He was in a cab
(of course he was in a cab, they always are, these unfortunate, these
courageous men). To deny myself was absurd. My friend could see me over
the parlor blinds, surrounded by my family, and cheerfully partaking of
the morning meal. Might he have a word with me? and can you imagine its
purport? By the most provoking delay, his uncle the admiral not being
able to come to town till Friday--would I cash him a cheque? I need not
say it would be paid on Saturday without fail. I tell you that man went
away with money in his pocket, and I regret to add that his gallant
relative has not COME TO TOWN YET!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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