English essays -- 19th century; Great Britain -- Social life and customs; London (England) -- Description and travel
I can only say of this lady, vidi tantum. I saw her first just as I rose
out of an illness from which I had never thought to recover. I remember
the trembling little frame, the little hand, the great honest eyes.
An impetuous honesty seemed to me to characterize the woman. Twice
I recollect she took me to task for what she held to be errors in
doctrine. Once about Fielding we had a disputation. She spoke her mind
out. She jumped too rapidly to conclusions. (I have smiled at one or
two passages in the “Biography,” in which my own disposition or behavior
forms the subject of talk.) She formed conclusions that might be wrong,
and built up whole theories of character upon them. New to the London
world, she entered it with an independent, indomitable spirit of her
own; and judged of contemporaries, and especially spied out arrogance or
affectation, with extraordinary keenness of vision. She was angry with
her favorites if their conduct or conversation fell below her ideal.
Often she seemed to me to be judging the London folk prematurely: but
perhaps the city is rather angry at being judged. I fancied an austere
little Joan of Arc marching in upon us, and rebuking our easy lives, our
easy morals. She gave me the impression of being a very pure, and lofty,
and high-minded person. A great and holy reverence of right and truth
seemed to be with her always. Such, in our brief interview, she appeared
to me. As one thinks of that life so noble, so lonely--of that passion
for truth--of those nights and nights of eager study, swarming fancies,
invention, depression, elation, prayer; as one reads the necessarily
incomplete, though most touching and admirable history of the heart that
throbbed in this one little frame--of this one amongst the myriads
of souls that have lived and died on this great earth--this great
earth?--this little speck in the infinite universe of God,--with what
wonder do we think of to-day, with what awe await to-morrow, when that
which is now but darkly seen shall be clear! As I read this little
fragmentary sketch, I think of the rest. Is it? And where is it? Will
not the leaf be turned some day, and the story be told? Shall the
deviser of the tale somewhere perfect the history of little EMMA'S
griefs and troubles? Shall TITANIA come forth complete with her sportive
court, with the flowers at her feet, the forest around her, and all the
stars of summer glittering overhead?
How well I remember the delight, and wonder, and pleasure with which I
read “Jane Eyre,” sent to me by an author whose name and sex were then
alike unknown to me; the strange fascinations of the book; and how with
my own work pressing upon me, I could not, having taken the volumes up,
lay them down until they were read through! Hundreds of those who, like
myself, recognized and admired that master-work of a great genius, will
look with a mournful interest and regard and curiosity upon the last
fragmentary sketch from the noble hand which wrote “Jane Eyre.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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