“The author that wrote all about ‘Tom Slade’s Adventures in the World
War’,” I said, “told me it would be a good idea for me to write up our
troop’s adventures and he’d help me to get them published.”
Then up jumped Pee-wee Harris like a jack-in-the-box.
“What are you talking about?” he shouted; “don’t you know you have to
have a command of language to write books? You’re crazy!”
“I should worry about a command of language,” I told him. “Haven’t I got
command of the Silver Fox Patrol? Anybody who can command the Silver Fox
Patrol ought to be able to command a few languages and things. I could
command a whole regiment even,” I kept up, for I saw that Pee-wee was
getting worked up, as usual, and all the fellows were laughing, even Mr.
Ellsworth.
“If you could command a division,” Westy Martin said, in that sober way
of his, “you ought to be able to command English all right.”
“I can command any kind of a division,” I shouted, all the while winking
at Westy. “I can command a long division or a short division or a
multiplication or a subtraction or a plain addition.”
“What are you talking about?” Pee-wee yelled. “You’re crazy!”
“I can command anything except Pee-wee Harris’s temper,” I said.
Well, you ought to have seen Pee-wee. Even Mr. Ellsworth had to laugh.
“How can a fellow your age write books?” he fairly screamed. “You have
to have sunsets and twilights and gurgling brooks and——”
“You leave the gurgling brooks to me,” I said; “I’ll make them gurgle
all right. There’s going to be plenty of action in these books. And
Pee-wee Harris is going to be the village cut-up.”
“Are you going to have girls?” he shouted.
“Sure I’m going to have girls—gold haired girls—all kinds—take your
pick.”
“_Good night!_” Pee-wee shouted, “I see your finish.”
Well, pretty soon everybody was shouting at the same time and Pee-wee
was dancing around, saying we were all crazy. Most of the Raven Patrol
were with him and they ought to be called the Raving Patrol, believe
_me_.
Then Mr. Ellsworth held up his hand in that quiet way he has. “This
sounds like the Western Front or a Bolsheviki meeting,” he said, “and
I’m afraid our young Raven, Mr. Pee-wee Harris, will presently explode
and that would be an unpleasant episode for any book.”
“Good night!” I said. “Don’t want any of my books to end with an
explosion.”
Then he said how it would be a good idea for me to write up our
adventures and how he’d help me whenever I got stuck and how he guessed
the author of Tom Slade would put in fancy touches for me, because he
lives in our town and he’s a whole lot interested in our troop. He said
that breezes and distant views and twilights and things aren’t so hard
when you get used to them and even storms and hurricanes are easy if you
only know how. He said girls aren’t so easy to manage though.
“I’ll help you out with the girls,” Pee-wee said; “I know all about
girls. And I’ll help you with the names of the chapters, too.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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