You are hereby informed that the allied forces, consisting of Boy Scouts, Civil War Veterans, scarecrows, and scout reinforcements from your own town, offer you the choice of unconditional surrender or complete extinction. As hostages we hold Uncle Tom’s Cabin troupe scheduled to appear at your reunion. Ten minutes will be given for an answer. We shall advance against your stronghold immediately. One of the veterans said it would be better to say, “I purpose to move immediately against your works,” because those were the very same words that General Grant used. So Harry put it that way. Then he said, “Let us have peace,” because that was what General Grant said, too. Pee-wee thought he said, “Let’s have a piece,” so he chucked a licorice jaw-breaker up and it struck Harry, kerplunk, on the face. That was the beginning of hostilities. Pee-wee fired the first shot. CHAPTER XXXIV—TR-R-AITORS! That was the only shot in the whole war. It was a punk war. Harry said, “Let the bloodshed cease; who’ll volunteer to go in as a courier?” Pee-wee shouted, “I will.” So Harry gave him the note and told him to stick a white popcorn bar on a stick for a flag of truce. Honest, if you could have seen that kid start off with the note in one hand and that popcorn flag of truce in the other and his mouth all stuck up with licorice candy, you’d have laughed till you cried. We waited for about ten minutes but still he didn’t come out, so Harry called for another volunteer and Westy went in, because he said he could remember just what was in the note. _Good night_, he didn’t come out again, either. [Illustration: “WE’RE MAKING A DESPERATE CALVARY CHARGE,” SHOUTED PEE-WEE.] Harry said, “This is very strange; they’ve either deserted or they’re being held as prisoners.” Then Charlie Seabury said he’d go in, so he pinned a marshmallow onto his buttonhole and went through the admission gate. But he didn’t come back, either. Pretty soon five of the fellows had gone in—all the fellows in my patrol except myself. And none of them came back. We decided that they were all being held as prisoners. Harry said, “This is not civilized warfare at all—not to respect a flag of truce.” I said, “Gee whiz, I never heard of a fellow that wouldn’t respect a marshmallow or a popcorn bar. Even I respect gum drops.” Brent said, “Well, the only thing to do is to enter the grounds and seize the rifles in the shooting gallery. If we can surround the dining pavilion and seize all the sandwiches, we can cut off their base of supplies and force a surrender. What say, comrades?” Harry said that was the only thing to do so he paid fifteen cents admission for all of us on account of that being civilized warfare. Then we drove in, and I bet that gatekeeper thought that we were from an insane asylum, especially when he took a good look at Brent.