Courts and courtiers -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction
It displeased him to hear that she had been working, poring over algebra
and playing in the lofty spheres since they had last met. He would beg
her to lay her books aside now, as they might distract her and divert
her from the matter to which all her thinking powers must now be
devoted. He talked also about himself, about that sobering effect and
awkwardness which, according to her, his existence inspired; he tried to
explain it, and in doing so to weaken it. He spoke about the cold,
stern, and barren existence which had been his hitherto, he described to
her how everybody had always flocked to gaze at him, while it had been
his lofty calling to show himself and to be gazed at, a much more
difficult task. He did his best to make her recognize that the remedy
for that which caused him to prevent the poor Countess from drivelling
and to estrange her to his own sorrow, that this remedy could be found
in her, only in her, and was given over absolutely into her hands.
She looked at him, her big eyes sparkled in dark scrutiny, and it was
clear that she, she too, was struggling. But then she would shake her
head or break off the conversation, introducing with a pout some topic
over which she made merry, incapable of bringing herself to take the
responsibility of the "Yes" for which he begged her, that undefined and,
as matters stood, absolutely non-committal surrender.
She did not prevent him from coming once or twice a week; she did not
prevent him from speaking, from assailing her with prayers and
asseverations and from taking her hand now and then between his own. But
she was only patient, she remained unmoved, her dread of taking the
decisive step, that aversion from leaving her cool and derisive kingdom
and confessing herself his, seemed unconquerable; and she could not
help, in her anguish and exhaustion, breaking out with the words: "Oh,
Prince, we ought never to have met--it would have been best if we
hadn't. Then you would have pursued your lofty calling as calmly as
ever, and I should have preserved my peace of mind, and neither would
have harassed the other!"
The Prince had much difficulty in inducing her to recant, and in
extorting from her the confession that she did not entirely regret
having made his acquaintance. But all this took time. The summer came to
an end, early night-frosts loosened the still-green leaves from the
trees, Fatma's, Florian's, and Isabeau's hoofs rustled in the
red-and-gold leafage when they went for a ride. Autumn came with its
mists and sharp smells--and nobody could have prophesied an end, or
indeed any decisive turn in the course of the strangely fluctuating
affair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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