Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Poor families -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"I don't know yet; but there is no need to worry about such a fellow
as I am; it is true that I have no money, but here (he pointed at his
forehead) I have got something that is worth more than money," and
after this introduction he started to picture his future.
"To begin with," he said, "it is undoubtedly a great misfortune to be
born in the country. Think of the vast possibilities that are open to
you in town. There are the well-managed schools, the places of historic
importance, the innumerable means of earning a living, and the very
air of culture and refinement that envelopes everybody. There is no
real work in the country, and there never will be. It is true that
the people get up in the mornings and try to do what there is to be
done; but where is, I ask you, that race of all the different brain
and bodily powers that is so characteristic of life in town, where the
clever man is superseded by the cleverest man, and everybody tries to
reach the top in consequence?... If I were silly enough to stay at
a little country-place, what would become of me? Nothing but a mere
loafer, who drags about quite uselessly the great gift of intelligence
that fortune (my dear, I am above that nonsense of God and Church) has
bestowed upon his cradle or rather upon his brain. I have therefore
decided to throw in my lot with the quickest and cleverest of my age,
and it must be hell itself playing against me if I do not succeed
in getting enough money to enable me to buy a few hundreds of such
dens"--he looked round the room contemptuously--"in a couple of years."
With my hands folded almost devoutly I sat silent during the whole of
this speech, and did not quite know what to make of it. I greatly
admired the graceful flow of his words, as well as his thoughts which
were entirely new to me. Nevertheless there was something within me
that warned me not to surrender the views and ideas I had so far held.
"I hope you will have good luck," I said at last when he made a little
pause; "but I should like to know what you are going to be."
"Alas!" he replied, "I can see for myself now that you are not much
better than these folks"--he pointed with his thumb at my parents--"and
that you have never, not even in the least, raised yourself above
the level of your birth. Your way of thinking is the way these folks
think"--he pointed at my parents again--"and they think as their
grandparents did. Progress is to all of you as foreign as China. How
can you be so silly," he continued, somewhat more gently, "to ask me
what I am going to be? How can I tell to-day? At the present I have
not the faintest notion of the conditions and circumstances of Vienna,
and how am I to know which of my capacities is likely to be the most
eminent? Let me have the choice of a profession, the possibility of a
trial, and I will tell you what I am made of."
Greatly ashamed of my ignorance, I was silent again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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