Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Poor families -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"The same thing that you do here, but with this difference, that there
you will be regarded as a governess and not as a servant, and you will
receive thrice the wages you receive here."
I folded my hands slowly and devoutly as I always did when I was moved
by some great emotion. "But," I said at last, "am I ladylike enough for
such a situation?"
"Of course; if you were not, do you think that I should advise you to
take it?"
As she said this she stood up, and made preparations to go. She held
out her hand to me and stroked my cheeks.
"Good-bye then, and think about what I have told you; I am fond of you
and should like to see you happy."
After she had gone I repeated her words over and over again. It was
chiefly the one sentence that haunted me. "You will be regarded as a
governess and not as a servant, and you will receive thrice the wages
that you receive here...." Thrice the wages!... I began to reckon in
my thoughts. Three times ten shillings make thirty shillings every
month ... that would be an enormous sum which I could never want all
for myself. No, of course not. But I would send home half of it. My
father's letters told me that business was no better, and a little help
from somebody would be very convenient.
"Oh, most gracious Lord," I prayed in my heart of hearts, "thirty
shillings every month would mean all the world to us."
I got home rather late that evening, and my mistress reproached me
gently for not being punctual. For the first time I did not mind what
she said. I had intended to tell the cook of my conversation with the
girl in the woods, but then I thought it better to keep silence about
it, and to wait events. During the following days I looked out eagerly
for my new friend; but a fortnight elapsed before I saw her again. I
hurried towards her, hardly taking notice of her cheerful salute.
"Where have you been all the time?" I asked.
"I have been busy at home," she replied, looking in astonishment at
my face that was flushed with excitement. I tried to control myself
and sat down beside her. Although very impatient and very anxious to
continue our last conversation, I did not like to start the subject
myself. She, however, did not seem to have given it another thought.
Not a single word did she say about it.
When at last it grew dark and I knew that I had to start home, I
took my courage in my hands, and said with as much indifference as
I could assume: "Oh yes, I wanted to tell you that I have thought
about everything you told me the last time, and that I shouldn't mind
taking your advice and going to Buda-Pesth." I noticed that she was
embarrassed, and the next words confirmed my suspicion.
"My dear," she said, "I am truly sorry to have aroused thoughts within
you that might endanger the peace of your present life."
All the happiness that I had felt went out of my heart, and with a
voice that was almost a sob, I said: "I really don't understand
you.... You yourself said----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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