Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
“We start Bill in that restaurant,” she began. “It come to me in a
flash. I judge he’s got the right ideas, and Waterman and his wife can
cook for him.”
“Bully!” exclaimed Cousin Egbert. “I was thinking he ought to have a
gents’ furnishing store, on account of his mind running to dress, but
you got the best idea.”
“I’ll stake him to the rent,” she put in.
“And I’ll stake him to the rest,” exclaimed Cousin Egbert delightedly,
and, strange as it may seem, I suddenly saw myself a licensed
victualler.
“I’ll call it the ‘United States Grill,’” I said suddenly, as if by
inspiration.
“Three rousing cheers for the U.S. Grill!” shouted Cousin Egbert to
the surrounding hills, and repairing to the hut he brought out hot
toddies with which we drank success to the new enterprise. For a
half-hour, I dare say, we discussed details there in the cold night,
not seeing that it was quite preposterously bizarre. Returning to the
hut at last, Cousin Egbert declared himself so chilled that he must
have another toddy before retiring, and, although I was already
feeling myself the equal of any American, I consented to join him.
Just before retiring again my attention centred a second time upon the
bearskin before my bed and, forgetting that I had already inquired
about it, I demanded of him if he had killed the animal. “Sure,” said
he; “killed it with one shot just as it was going to claw me. It was
an awful big one.”
Morning found the three of us engrossed with the new plan, and by the
time our guest rode away after luncheon the thing was well forward and
I had the Mixer’s order upon her estate agent at Red Gap for admission
to the vacant premises. During the remainder of the day, between games
of cribbage, Cousin Egbert and I discussed the venture. And it was now
that I began to foresee a certain difficulty.
How, I asked myself, would the going into trade of Colonel Marmaduke
Ruggles be regarded by those who had been his social sponsors in Red
Gap? I mean to say, would not Mrs. Effie and the Belknap-Jacksons feel
that I had played them false? Had I not given them the right to
believe that I should continue, during my stay in their town, to be
one whom their county families would consider rather a personage? It
was idle, indeed, for me to deny that my personality as well as my
assumed origin and social position abroad had conferred a sort of
prestige upon my sponsors; that on my account, in short, the North
Side set had been newly armed in its battle with the Bohemian set. And
they relied upon my continued influence. How, then, could I face them
with the declaration that I meant to become a tradesman? Should I be
doing a caddish thing, I wondered?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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