Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
The morrow dawned auspiciously, very cloudy with smartish drives of
wind and rain. Confined to the dingy squalor of his hotel, how gladly
would the artist, it was felt, seek the refined cheer of one of our
best homes where he would be enlivened by an hour or so of contact
with our most cultivated people. Belknap-Jackson telephoned me with
increasing frequency as the hour drew near, nervously seeming to dread
that I would have overlooked some detail of his refined refreshments,
or that I would not have them at his house on time. He telephoned
often to the Honourable George to be assured that the carriage with
its escort would be prompt. He telephoned repeatedly to the driver
chap, to impress upon him the importance of his mission.
His guests began to arrive even before I had decked his sideboard with
what was, I have no hesitation in declaring, the most superbly dainty
buffet collation that Red Gap had ever beheld. The atmosphere at once
became tense with expectation.
At three o’clock the host announced from the telephone:
“Vane-Basingwell has started from the Floud house.” The guests
thrilled and hushed the careless chatter of new arrivals.
Belknap-Jackson remained heroically at the telephone, having demanded
to be put through to the hotel. He was flushed with excitement. A
score of minutes later he announced with an effort to control his
voice: “They have left the hotel--they are on the way.”
The guests stiffened in their seats. Some of them nervously and for no
apparent reason exchanged chairs with others. Some late arrivals
bustled in and were immediately awed to the same electric silence of
waiting. Belknap-Jackson placed the sherry decanter where the vodka
bottle had been and the vodka bottle where the sherry decanter had
been. “The effect is better,” he remarked, and went to stand where he
could view the driveway. The moments passed.
At such crises, which I need not say have been plentiful in my life, I
have always known that I possessed an immense reserve of coolness.
Seldom have I ever been so much as slightly flustered. Now I was
calmness itself, and the knowledge brought me no little satisfaction
as I noted the rather painful distraction of our host. The moments
passed--long, heavy, silent moments. Our host ascended trippingly to
an upper floor whence he could see farther down the drive. The guests
held themselves in smiling readiness. Our host descended and again
took up his post at a lower window.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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