Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
“I fancy you’ll be even more interested than I if I lose,” he remarked
in tones of a curious evenness that were somehow rather deadly. The
words seemed pregnant with meaning, but before I could weigh them I
heard him noisily descending the stairs. It was only then I recalled
having noticed that he had not changed to his varnished boots, having
still on his feet the doggish and battered pair he most favoured. It
was a trick of his to evade me with them. I did for them each day all
that human boot-cream could do, but they were things no sensitive
gentleman would endure with evening dress. I was glad to reflect that
doubtless only Americans would observe them.
So began the final hours of a 14th of July in Paris that must ever be
memorable. My own birthday, it is also chosen by the French as one on
which to celebrate with carnival some one of those regrettable events
in their own distressing past.
To begin with, the day was marked first of all by the breezing in of
his lordship the Earl of Brinstead, brother of the Honourable George,
on his way to England from the Engadine. More peppery than usual had
his lordship been, his grayish side-whiskers in angry upheaval and his
inflamed words exploding quite all over the place, so that the
Honourable George and I had both perceived it to be no time for
admitting our recent financial reverse at the gaming tables of Ostend.
On the contrary, we had gamely affirmed the last quarter’s allowance
to be practically untouched--a desperate stand, indeed! But there was
that in his lordship’s manner to urge us to it, though even so he
appeared to be not more than half deceived.
“No good greening me!” he exploded to both of us. “Tell in a
flash--gambling, or a woman--typing-girl, milliner, dancing person,
what, what! Guilty faces, both of you. Know you too well. My word,
what, what!”
Again we stoutly protested while his lordship on the hearthrug rocked
in his boots and glared. The Honourable George gamely rattled some
loose coin of the baser sort in his pockets and tried in return for a
glare of innocence foully aspersed. I dare say he fell short of it.
His histrionic gifts are but meagre.
“Fools, quite fools, both of you!” exploded his lordship anew. “And,
make it worse, no longer young fools. Young and a fool, people make
excuses. Say, ‘Fool? Yes, but so young!’ But old and a fool--not a
word to say, what, what! Silly rot at forty.” He clutched his
side-whiskers with frenzied hands. He seemed to comb them to a more
bristling rage.
“Dare say you’ll both come croppers. Not surprise me. Silly old
George, course, course! Hoped better of Ruggles, though. Ruggles
different from old George. Got a brain. But can’t use it. Have old
George wed to a charwoman presently. Hope she’ll be a worker. Need to
be--support you both, what, what!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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