Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife: Beaumont & Fletcher's Works (3 of 10)Fletcher, John
General
Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife: Beaumont & Fletcher's Works (3 of 10)
Fletcher, John
Comedy plays; Drama
I'll go to a Conjurer but I'll find this Pol-cat,
This pilfering Whore: a plague of Vails, I cry,
And covers for the impudence of Women,
Their sanctity in show will deceive Devils,
It is my evil Angel, let me bless me.
[Enter _Estifania_ with a Casket.]
Estifania:
'Tis he, I am caught, I must stand to it stoutly,
And show no shake of fear, I see he is angry,
Vext at the uttermost.
Michael Perez:
My worthy Wife,
I have been looking of your modesty
All the town over.
209]
Estifania:
My most noble Husband,
I am glad I have found ye, for in truth I am weary,
Weary and lame with looking out your Lordship.
Michael Perez:
I have been in Bawdy Houses.
Estifania:
I believe you, and very lately too.
Michael Perez:
'Pray you pardon me,
To seek your Ladyship, I have been in Cellars,
In private Cellars, where the thirsty Bawds
Hear your Confessions; I have been at Plays,
To look you out amongst the youthful Actors,
At Puppet Shews, you are Mistress of the motions,
At Gossippings I hearkned after you,
But amongst those Confusions of lewd Tongues
There's no distinguishing beyond a Babel.
I was amongst the Nuns because you sing well,
But they say yours are Bawdy Songs, they mourn for ye,
And last I went to Church to seek you out,
'Tis so long since you were there, they have forgot you.
Estifania:
You have had a pretty progress, I'll tell mine now:
To look you out, I went to twenty Taverns.
Michael Perez:
And are you sober?
Estifania:
Yes, I reel not yet, Sir,
Where I saw twenty drunk, most of 'em Souldiers,
There I had great hope to find you disguis'd too.
From hence to th' dicing-house, there I found
Quarrels needless, and senceless, Swords and Pots, and Candlesticks,
Tables and Stools, and all in one confusion,
And no man knew his Friend. I left this _Chaos_,
And to the Chirurgions went, he will'd me stay,
For says he learnedly, if he be tipled,
Twenty to one he whores, and then I hear of him,
If he be mad, he quarrels, then he comes too.
I sought ye where no safe thing would have ventur'd,
Amongst diseases, base and vile, vile Women,
For I remembred your old Roman axiom,
The more the danger, still the more the Honour.
Last, to your Confessor I came, who told me,
You were too proud to pray, and here I have found ye.
Michael Perez:
She bears up bravely, and the Rogue is witty,
But I shall dash it instantly to nothing.
210] Here leave we off our wanton languages,
And now conclude we in a sharper tongue.
Estifania:
Why am I cozen'd?
Why am I abused?
Michael Perez:
Thou most vile, base, abominable--
Estifania:
Captain.
Michael Perez:
Thou stinking, overstew'd, poor, pocky--
Estifania:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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