He felt again, as he had felt when he saw her in the Newberrys' box,
that she was lovely not only with the hesitant possibilities of girlhood
at pause before the door of maturity, but because she gleamed with the
gleam of an approaching summer night scented and starred. He noted how
the yellow rays from a high candelabrum standing near the couch cast
what might be an aureole about her head and set it in relief against the
distant, drawn curtains, the curtains of ivory plush, which shut the
heaven of this drawing-room from the earth of everywhere else. In his
every early adventure among the dreams of love, this lonely man of the
desert, reacting on his environment, had been less annoyed by the
demands of a body that clamoured in vain than by the dictates of a soul
that insisted upon the perfection of beauty among beautiful surroundings
beautifully encountered. Now he was to put into action forces that would
either realise or break those dreams, and, knowing that, he imprinted on
his memory this picture of her and always after remembered it: her white
hands clasped about the great bunch of violets he had brought to her,
the glory of her wayward hair, the curve of her throat, her dark eyes
with their curving lashes, her parted lips.
She had again been asking him of his life in the mining-camps of Alaska
and the West and about his solitary journeys prospecting for the gold
that it had often seemed was never to be found, and Stainton, wishing
not to capitalise his achievements and unable to understand why a girl
should interest herself in what was simply a business history, had again
evaded her.
"But you must have suffered a good deal," she said.
"Oh, yes," he said; "that is part of the price of Life."
"You did it all," she asked, "to win a fortune?"
"No," he answered, his glance as steady upon hers as it had been that
night at the opera. "I did it all to win Life. That has always been
what I wanted; that has always been what I never had: Life. I wanted--I
scarcely know how to say it: the full, sharp, clean joys of being. You
understand?"
"I think I understand," she said.
"I wanted them. I saw that no man could have them in these days, living
as we live, unless he was economically independent and morally straight.
I made up my mind to win economic independence and to keep morally
straight at any sacrifice."
She drew her fingers a little tighter about the tinfoil wrapping of the
violets. Over the purple tops of the flowers, as she raised them toward
her face, her intent, innocent face returned his steady scrutiny.
"And you've won?" she asked.
He wished to cross to her, to come to the couch and lean over its back,
and, with his lips close to her cheek, whisper his answer. But he would
not do that; he had decided that to do that at this point would be to
bring about for his benefit an unfair propinquity. Instead, he moved
only a step from the mantelpiece and stood upright, his arms folded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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