She saw the facts, she felt their weight and significance; but
for the rest! If Lady Mitford had progressed rapidly in knowledge of
the great world since she had been of it, she had also graduated in
other sciences which placed her above and beyond it.
"I am fortunate in finding you at home, Lady Mitford," said Alsager.
She answered by a smile They had got beyond the talking of
commonplaces to each other, these two, in general; but there was a
sense of oppression over them both to-day, and each was conscious that
it weighed upon the other. The remembrance of the talk to which he had
listened at the Club, of the light discussion of Sir Charles's
conduct, of the flippant censure of the woman who had won him from his
wife, was very strong upon Alsager; while she,--of what was she
thinking? Who could undertake to tell that? who could categorize the
medley which must occupy the mind of a woman so situated? Was she
suffering the sharp pangs of outraged love? or was she enduring the
hardly less keen torture of discovering that that which she had
believed to be love, had cherished in her breast as the true deity,
had given, in that belief, to her husband, was not love, but only a
skilful (and innocent) counterfeit, only a mock jewel which she had
offered in good faith for the flawless pearl of price? Who can tell?
She could hardly have answered such a question truly, if she had put
it to herself at the close of the interview which began after so
commonplace a fashion.
"I have not seen you since your father's death," said Lady Mitford,
gently; and in a tone which lent the simple words all the effect of a
formal condolence. "You have not been long in town, I'm sure?"
"No, indeed," he said; "I have but just returned. There is so much to
be done on these occasions; there are so many forms to be gone
through; there is so much immediate business to be transacted, in the
interests of the living, that--that,"--he hesitated; for he had neared
that precipice so dreaded by all now-a-days, the exhibition of natural
emotion.
"That one has to wait for leisure to mourn for the dead," said Lady
Mitford. "Ah, yes, I understand that. But you remain in town now, do
you not?"
There was a tone of anxiety in the question which struck on Alsager's
ear with a sound of music. She had missed him, then,--she would miss
him if he went away again! He loved her well, ay, and worthily,
contradictory though that may seem; but his heart was stirred with a
joy which he dared not analyze, but could not deny, at the thought. He
answered hurriedly, "Yes, I remain here now." And then he changed his
tone, and said eagerly,
"Tell me something of yourself. How has it been with you since we met
last?"
"Of myself!" she replied sadly; and her colour flushed and faded as
she spoke, and her restless fingers trifled with the ornaments of her
dress. "Myself is an unprofitable subject, and one I am weary of. I
have nothing new to tell,--nothing you would care to hear."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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