He dissented by an eager gesture; but she appeared not to perceive it,
and went on, with attempted gaiety:
"We have missed you dreadfully, of course. I need not tell you what a
void your absence must necessarily make. We all know you are beyond
spoiling."
She looked at him, and something in his face warned her not to pursue
this tone. She felt vaguely that the position was unreal, and must be
changed. He knew, as she supposed, what she was thinking of; she knew,
as he fancied, what he was thinking of; and though, as it happened,
each was wrong, it was manifestly absurd to carry on false pretences
any longer. Woman-like, she was the first to brave the difficulty of
the situation.
"You have come to me," she said steadily, and looking at him with the
clear upheld gaze peculiar to her, "because you have heard something
which concerns me nearly, and because, man of the world,--of this
heartless world around us,--as you are, and accustomed to such things,
still you feel for me; because you would have prevented this thing if
you could; because you tried to prevent it, and failed; because you
knew--yes, Sir Laurence Alsager, because you knew the extent and the
power of the danger that menaced me, and my helplessness: say, am I
right?--for these reasons you are here to-day."
The composure of her voice was gone, but not its sweetness; her colour
had faded to a marble paleness; and her hands were firmly clasped
together. Alsager had risen as she spoke, and was standing now,
leaning against the low velvet-covered mantelpiece. He answered
hurriedly, and with scant composure:
"Yes, Lady Mitford, for these reasons, and for others."
"For what others?"
This almost in a whisper.
"Never mind them now," he said impetuously; and then the superficial
restraint which he had imposed upon himself gave way, broke down
before that strongest and most terrible of temptations, the sight of
the sorrow and the silent confidence of the woman one loves, granted
at the moment when a hope, a guilty hope, that that love may not be
vain, begins to stir, like life, at one's heart. She shrank a little
back in the chair, but she looked at him as earnestly as before.
"It's all true, then," he said,--and there was a tone of deep and
bitter hatred in his voice,--"all true. The prophecy I heard among
those fellows the first time I ever heard your name--the coarse
language, the cynical foresight,--all true. That heartless demon has
caught his shallow nature in her shallow lure, and worked the woe of
an angel!"
His voice rang with a passionate tremor, his eyes deepened and
darkened with the passionate fervour which glowed in them. His
impetuous feeling mastered her. She had no power to arrest him by a
conventional phrase, though he had overstepped more than
conventionality by invading the sacred secrecy of her domestic grief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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