"Yes," she went on, more and more angrily; "think of her, and think of
me. She suffered the tortures of jealousy, did she? of lawful
legitimate jealousy, for which good people would give her pity, if she
were not too proud to take it. She suffer! What did I suffer? I tell
you, Laurence Alsager, she _could not_ suffer what I suffer; it is not
in her, any more than she could love as I love. She is a handsome,
cold, egotistical woman, who thinks of her _rights_. Her husband
belonged to her, and I took him, and she didn't like it. She felt it
much as she would have felt my stealing her pearls or her Dresden
china, I daresay; but _suffer!_ Why, she's what is called a _good_
woman; and if I chose to break with Mitford, he would probably now
return to her, for he likes her rather; and she would receive his
apologies, and all would be right again. Yes, she'd stoop to this
stupid meanness, because he's her _husband_, you know; and matrimony
is such a remarkably sacred institution, that a man may do anything he
pleases. And you talk to me of a woman like _her_ suffering!"
Sir Laurence made no answer. He was thinking how truly, from her own
debased point of view, Laura Hammond read the character of the woman
she had injured so deeply.
"You don't answer. Tell me, don't you know she would be reconciled
with Mitford to-morrow, if he asked her?"
"I cannot tell you, indeed," he said coldly; "you had better 'break
with Mitford,' as you phrase it, and find out."
"Will you not at least acknowledge that I had to suffer? The time of
my bondage was short, but she deprived my freedom of all its value.
She has won you, Laurence; and what is it all to me? I don't believe,
in all her well-regulated life, she ever experienced such a pang as I
felt when I saw her indifferent to Mitford's brutal neglect, and to my
insolence, one morning, because she had just had a letter from you; a
commonplace letter enough, Sir Laurence--she told us all about it--but
I can never forget or forgive the serenity of her face; it seemed as
if she had been removed into a world apart from us all."
How little she dreamed--how far, in her blind furious anger and
self-abandonment, she was from dreaming of the secret stealthy delight
with which the listener heard her words!
"You impute to Lady Mitford your own ideas, your own indifference to
right, Mrs. Hammond; she is a woman who is incapable of wronging her
husband, even in thought, though that husband be no worthier than
Mitford. She rules her life by principles, and in her estimate of
marriage regards the obligation rather than the individual."
"Indeed! That's a very pretty sentence, Sir Laurence, and you have
learned your lesson like a very docile little boy. But hadn't you
better reserve it for repetition elsewhere? for really sentiments of
such grandeur are quite thrown away on me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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