"I know him," said Cis Hetherington, who had lounged up and joined the
party; "Tom Hammond, a thundering big fellow. His vicarage, or
rectory, or whatever it is, is close by Dursley; and at the last
election Tom seconded my brother--Westonhanger, you know--for the
county. The Rads brought over a lot of roughs, navvies and fellows who
were working at the railway close by; and whenever Tom spoke these
fellows kept yelling out all sorts of blackguard language. Tom roared
to them to stop it; and when they wouldn't, he quietly let himself
drop over the front of the hustings, right into the middle of 'em.
He's a splendid bruiser, you know; and he let out--one two, one
two--right and left, and sent half-a-dozen of 'em flying like
skittles. Then he asked if any more was wanted, carefully settled his
clerical white choker, and went back to the hustings again."
"He owed your brother a good turn after the way in which he astonished
your governor a year or two ago, Cis," said Lord Dollamore.
"What was that? Did he pull the Duke up for coming late to the church,
or for not hunting the county? The last most likely, I should think."
"Not at all. You all know what a tremendous swell Cis's brother, the
Duke, is,--you know it, Cis, as well as anybody,--wants all the
pavement to himself in St. James's Street, and finds the arch on
Constitution Hill not quite high enough for his head. Well, a year or
two ago Tom Hammond had a splendid roan horse which he used to drive
in a light Whitechapel to cover. The Duke saw this animal, and thought
it would make a splendid match for a roan of his; so he sent his
coachman over to Tom's little place to ask if he'd sell. Tom saw the
coachman, heard what he had to say, and then told him he never spoke
to grooms, except to give them orders; if the Duke wanted the horse,
he must come himself. I can't think what message the man can have
given to his master; but two days after, the Duke's phaeton pulled up
at the parsonage door, and the Duke himself bowed to Tom, who ran to
the window with his mouth full of lunch. Tom's account of the
interview was delicious. He imitates the Duke's haw-haw manner to
perfection,--you don't mind, Cis? He asked him in, and told him that
the Stilton was in prime cut; but the Duke declined, and said, I
understand you wish to sell your roan, Mr. Hammond.' 'Then your grace
understands a good deal more than I gave you credit for,' said Tom.
'Then you don't want to sell the horse? I want him particularly for a
match-horse.' 'No,' said Tom, 'I won't sell him. I'm a poor parson,
and I wouldn't take three hundred for him; but I'll tell you what I'll
do, your grace. I'm always open to a bit of sporting; and _I'll toss
your grace for the pair_; or, if that's not exciting enough, I'll get
my curate to come in--he's only next door--and we'll go the odd man,
the best of three. That's what I'll do.' Tom says he thought the Duke
would have had a fit. He never spoke a word, but drove straight away,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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