As for myself, those were busy days. I saw around me nothing but suspicion of Russia, perhaps even of myself: but I had a noble example set me, if one were needed, by Mr. Gladstone. Ours was a fight for Christianity and civilisation. Every hour of my day and sometimes far into the night was occupied. I rushed fearlessly into print, as I have done for the last forty years when I felt that my pen might serve the purpose I had in mind. In those days editors were less hospitable towards me than they have since become. Mine was an unpopular cause, I wrote as a Russian patriot, which meant that I sometimes showed a tendency to injure British susceptibilities. "But what matter that?" I asked myself with Jesuitical satisfaction. "The end is good, and it is the end that matters." I think there are very few of my friends in England to-day who will not echo my words. The day on which I write these words is the Russian Flag Day, the second since the war broke out. In the streets are English and Russian girls and women selling small flags, for the most exorbitant sum they can extract from the purchasers, "to help Russia." When I look back upon those days of gloom, when Mr. Gladstone used to come and see "the Russian agent," "the M.P. for Russia in England," and talk anxiously about the near future, and whether the storm would pass or break, it is with gratitude and expressions of heartfelt thanks to the people who have so often shown me hospitality and {28} in time began to listen to my words. They must have found some difficulty in avoiding the words I showered upon them; for I frankly confess I lost no opportunity of "rushing into print." {29} CHAPTER II THE AWAKENING OF RUSSIA A New Era--My Brother Nicholas--Hadji Ghiray: Hero--Terrible News--A Heroic Advance--My Brother's Death--Aksakoff's Famous Speech--Russia Aflame--A Nation's Sacrifice--My Heart-broken Letters--Mr. Gladstone's Response--Mutual Suspicion--My Visits to England It is not only easy, but delightful at this moment to write in dear England about Russia and Russians, about our institutions and customs, confessing even our drawbacks when they have to be explained. But, alas! some thirty or forty years ago such was not the case. I wonder if it will interest English people to follow the life of a Russian, who, like myself, has felt the effect of these different currents. We must remember, that, if at this moment, everything English is not only appreciated in Russia, but even enthusiastically admired, things were quite different at the time when I began writing pro-Russian articles in England. Yes, indeed: the Russian feelings in the years '76, '77 and '78 were permeated with severe bitterness against Disraeli's English policy so hostile to Russia.