Happily the peasant woman came in with tea, and I sat down wearily with
my head in my hands, utterly dispirited and discouraged. Only the fierce
determination to make it come right roused me and I went at it again. He
said, as he watched me: “When your teeth are clenched and you are
fighting with your work, _vous êtes encore femme_.” I asked him to take
off his pince-nez, as they hampered me. He hates doing this, he says he
feels _désarmé_ and absolutely lost without them. It seemed akin to
physical pain taking them off--they have become part of him and the loss
of them completely changes his individuality. It is a pity, as they
rather spoil an otherwise classical head.
While he was standing there helplessly with half-closed eyes, he
remarked on my name being
[Illustration: TROTSKY AT THE FRONT.]
spelt in the same way as that of the playwright. I explained that I had
married a direct descendant. He was interested and said, “The School for
Scandal” and “The Rivals,” had been translated and were occasionally
acted here in Russian. He then got on to Shakespeare. I wish I could
recall the words in which he described his appreciation, exclaiming
finally: “If England had never produced anything else, she would have
justified her existence.” We disagreed as to Byron and Shelley. He, like
others I have met here, preferred Byron, and insisted in spite of my
assertions to the contrary that Byron was the greater Revolutionary of
the two. He was surprised that I loved Swinburne. He said he would have
thought me too much of this world to love the spirituality of Swinburne.
I said: “One has one’s dreams.” He gave a sigh. “Yes,” he said, “we all
have our dreams----”
When, at the end of the evening, I was dissatisfied with my work and
feeling suicidal I asked him:
“May I come back and work to-morrow night?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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