Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Religious fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction
"Dear old Thomas! He and Mary would take me in, I think; they would
love me all the more if I were cast off. And Mr Bellingham would,
perhaps, not be so very long away; and he would know where to find
me if I stayed at Milham Grange. Oh, would it not be better to go to
them? I wonder if he would be very sorry! I could not bear to make
him sorry, so kind as he has been to me; but I do believe it would
be better to go to them, and ask their advice, at any rate. He would
follow me there; and I could talk over what I had better do, with the
three best friends I have in the world--the only friends I have."
She put on her bonnet, and opened the parlour-door; but then she saw
the square figure of the landlord standing at the open house-door,
smoking his evening pipe, and looming large and distinct against the
dark air and landscape beyond. Ruth remembered the cup of tea that
she had drank; it must be paid for, and she had no money with her.
She feared that he would not let her quit the house without paying.
She thought that she would leave a note for Mr Bellingham, saying
where she was gone, and how she had left the house in debt, for
(like a child) all dilemmas appeared of equal magnitude to her; and
the difficulty of passing the landlord while he stood there, and
of giving him an explanation of the circumstances (as far as such
explanation was due to him), appeared insuperable, and as awkward,
and fraught with inconvenience, as far more serious situations.
She kept peeping out of her room, after she had written her little
pencil-note, to see if the outer door was still obstructed. There
he stood, motionless, enjoying his pipe, and looking out into the
darkness which gathered thick with the coming night. The fumes of
the tobacco were carried by the air into the house, and brought back
Ruth's sick headache. Her energy left her; she became stupid and
languid, and incapable of spirited exertion; she modified her plan
of action, to the determination of asking Mr Bellingham to take her
to Milham Grange, to the care of her humble friends, instead of to
London. And she thought, in her simplicity, that he would instantly
consent when he had heard her reasons.
She started up. A carriage dashed up to the door. She hushed her
beating heart, and tried to stop her throbbing head to listen. She
heard him speaking to the landlord, though she could not distinguish
what he said; heard the jingling of money, and, in another moment, he
was in the room, and had taken her arm to lead her to the carriage.
"Oh, sir! I want you to take me to Milham Grange," said she, holding
back. "Old Thomas would give me a home."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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