She had done very wrong, had taken a false step, and she felt truly enough that no power on earth could alter that fact. And having once started on a downward path it seemed of no use to try to stop and to do better in future: she must give up all her struggles to do right, and go down, down. It requires a very hardened sinner to forget the past, and begin again as if nothing had happened; or a very humble Christian to start again, after repeated failures, in dependence upon God. Ruth's self-sufficiency was gone, and she sadly admitted to herself that she was no better than Julia and the other girls. She had given up reading her Bible now, thinking its sweet messages were not for her, a wayward, erring one, and would scarcely dare to pray even for the safety and well-being of the dear ones at home. Too broken-spirited to make resolutions which she felt herself to be too weak to carry out, afraid to open her Bible and read therein her own condemnation, and feeling that her sin had raised a barrier, which she was unable to remove, between herself and God, the New Year began in sorrow and sadness. "Your sins have separated between you and your God." These words were continually in her mind, and the remembrance of the peace and joy which she had once felt in thinking of the things belonging to the kingdom only made her more miserable. CHAPTER XVIII. SO AS BY FIRE. "Hark! what was that?" exclaimed Ruth one night, starting up in bed. She had been half-dozing, half-dreaming, when she was startled by a slight noise downstairs, as if something had fallen. "I believe it is Gerald. I will go down at once, and tell him that as he has not kept his word I am no longer bound by my promise." She sprang out of bed, slipped on her dressing-gown and shoes, and hurried downstairs, anxious to meet her cousin before he went up to his room, and to get rid of the embargo which rested so heavily upon her. Down the stairs and into the hall she went without meeting him. The front-door was fastened and bolted securely. Had she been mistaken, or had he already gone to his room? One moment she stood in perplexity and doubt. Then hearing a slight noise, and seeing a bright light shining under the door of the little study, she turned the handle and opened the door to enter, but stepped back, half-blinded by the cloud of smoke which immediately enveloped her. The next moment she discovered the form of Gerald, who was evidently asleep in his chair, bending over the table, upon which were some blazing papers. The table itself was on fire, and the cloth that covered it was smouldering and giving forth volumes of smoke. [Illustration: ruth-26.jpg] Ruth gave a piercing scream, which alarmed the household, rushed into the room, caught up the heavy rug and threw it over the table, seized her cousin by the arm, and tried with all her might to drag him from the room.