Squatting, tailor-fashion, on our bed, we listen to him recount the
battle in which he was picked up. Cast out near Froeschwiller, on a
plain surrounded with woods, he had seen the red flashes shoot by in
bouquets of white smoke, and he had ducked, trembling, bewildered by the
cannonading, wild with the whistling of the balls. He had marched,
mixed in with the regiments, through the thick mud, not seeing a single
Prussian, not knowing in what direction they were, hearing on all sides
groans, cut by sharp cries, then the ranks of the soldiers placed in
front of him, all at once turned, and in the confusion of flight he had
been, without knowing how, thrown to the ground. He had picked himself
up and had fled, abandoning his gun and knapsack, and at last, worn
out by the forced marches endured for eight days, undermined by fear,
weakened by hunger, he had rested himself in a trench. He had remained
there dazed, inert, stunned by the roar of the bombs, resolved no longer
to defend himself, to move no more; then he thought of his wife, and,
weeping, demanded what he had done that they should make him suffer so;
he picked up, without knowing why, the leaf of a tree, which he kept,
and which he had about him now, for he showed it to us often, dried and
shriveled at the bottom of his pockets.
An officer had passed meanwhile, revolver in hand, had called him
“coward,” and threatened to break his head if he did not march. He had
replied: “That would please me above all things. Oh, that this would
end!” But the officer at the very moment he was shaking him on to his
feet was stretched out, the blood bursting, spurting from his neck. Then
fear took possession of him; he fled and succeeded in reaching a
road far off, overrun with the flying, black with troops, furrowed by
gun-carriages whose dying horses broke and crushed the ranks.
They succeeded at last in putting themselves under shelter. The cry of
treason arose from the groups. Old soldiers seemed once more resolved,
but the recruits refused to go on. “Let them go and be killed,” they
said, indicating the officers; “that’s their profession. As for me I
have children; it’s not the State that will take care of them if I die!”
And they envied the fate of those who were slightly wounded and the sick
who were allowed to take refuge in the ambulances.
“Ah, how afraid one gets, and, then, how one holds in the ear the voices
of men calling for their mothers and begging for something to drink,”
he added, shivering all over. He paused, and, looking about the corridor
with an air of content, he continued: “It’s all the same, I am very
happy to be here; and then, as it is, my wife can write to me,” and he
drew from his trousers pocket some letters, saying with satisfaction:
“The little one has written, look!” and he points out at the foot of
the paper under his wife’s labored handwriting, some up-and-down strokes
forming a dictated sentence, where there were some “I kiss papas” in
blots of ink.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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