I go back into the room, a nurse arrives and brings me a great military
coat, pantaloons, old shoes without heels, and a cap like a nightcap. I
look at myself, thus grotesquely dressed, in my little mirror. Good
Heavens, what a face and what an outfit! With my haggard eyes and my
sallow complexion, with my hair cut short, and my nose with the bumps
shining; with my long mouse-gray coat, my pants stained russet, my great
hedless shoes, my colossal cotton cap, I am prodigiously ugly. I could
not keep from laughing. I turn my head toward the side of my bed
neighbor, a tall boy of Jewish type, who is sketching my portrait in a
notebook. We become friends at once; I tell him to call me Eugène
Lejantel; he responds by telling me to call him Francis Emonot; we
recall to each other this and that painter; we enter into a discussion
of esthetics and forget our misfortune. Night arrives; they portion out
to us a dish of boiled meat dotted black with a few lentils, they pour
us out brimming cups of coco-clairet, and I undress, enchanted at
stretching myself out in a bed without keeping my clothes and my shoes
on.
The next morning I am awakened at about six o’clock by a great fracas at
the door and a clatter of voices. I sit up in bed, I rub my eyes, and
I see the gentleman of the night before, still dressed in his wrapper,
brown the color of cachou, who advances majestically, followed by a
train of nurses. It was the major. Scarcely inside, he rolls his dull
green eyes from right to left and from left to right, plunges his hands
in his pockets and bawls:
“Number One, show your leg--your dirty leg. Eh, it’s in a bad shape,
that leg, that sore runs like a fountain; lotion of bran and water,
lint, half-rations, a strong licorice tea. Number Two, show your
throat--your dirty throat. It’s getting worse and worse, that throat;
the tonsils will be cut out to-morrow.”
“But, doctor--”
“Eh, I am not asking anything from you, am I? Say one word and I’ll put
you on a diet.”
“But, at least--”
“Put that man on a diet. Write: diet, gargles, strong licorice tea.”
In that vein he passed all the sick in review, prescribing for all, the
syphilitics and the wounded, the fevered and the dysentery patients his
strong licorice tea. He stopped in front of me, stared into my face,
tore off my covering, punched my stomach with his fist, ordered
albuminated water for me, the inevitable tea; and went out snorting and
dragging his feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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