Her eyes filled. I thought I had never seen a creature more gentle,
delicate, yielding, acquiescent, and fair. She was not beautiful, but she
had grace and distinction of movement. She was a Parisienne. She had won
my sympathy. We met in a moment when my heart needed the companionship of
a woman's heart, and I was drawn to her by one of those sudden impulses
that sometimes draw women to each other. I cared not what she was.
Moreover, she had excited my curiosity. She was a novelty in my life.
She was something that I had heard of, and seen--yes, and perhaps envied
in secret, but never spoken with. And she shattered all my preconceptions
about her.
'You are an old tenant of this house?' I ventured.
'Yes,' she said; 'it suits me. But the great heats are terrible here.'
'You do not leave Paris, then?'
'Never. Except to see my little boy.'
I started, envious of her, and also surprised. It seemed strange that
this ribboned and elegant and plastic creature, whose long, thin arms
were used only to dalliance, should be a mother.
'So you have a little boy?'
'Yes; he lives with my parents at Meudon. He is four years old.
'Excuse me,' I said. 'Be frank with me once again. Do you love your
child, honestly? So many women don't, it appears.'
'Do I love him?' she cried, and her face glowed with her love. 'I adore
him!' Her sincerity was touching and overwhelming. 'And he loves me, too.
If he is naughty, one has only to tell him that he will make his _petite
mère_ ill, and he will be good at once. When he is told to obey his
grandfather, because his grandfather provides his food, he says bravely:
"No, not grandpapa; it is _petite mère_!" Is it not strange he should
know that I pay for him? He has a little engraving of the Queen of Italy,
and he says it is his _petite mère_. Among the scores of pictures he has
he keeps only that one. He takes it to bed with him. It is impossible to
deprive him of it.'
She smiled divinely.
'How beautiful!' I said. 'And you go to see him often?'
'As often as I have time. I take him out for walks. I run with him till
we reach the woods, where I can have him to myself alone. I never stop; I
avoid people. No one except my parents knows that he is my child. One
supposes he is a nurse-child, received by my parents. But all the world
will know now,' she added, after a pause. 'Last Monday I went to Meudon
with my friend Alice, and Alice wanted to buy him some sweets at the
grocer's. In the shop I asked him if he would like _dragées_, and he said
"Yes." The grocer said to him, "Yes who, young man?" "Yes, _petite
mère_," he said, very loudly and bravely. The grocer understood. We all
lowered our heads.'
There was something so affecting in the way she half whispered the last
phrase, that I could have wept; and yet it was comical, too, and she
appreciated that.
'You have no child, madame?' she asked me.
'No,' I said. 'How I envy you!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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