In these sad, painful, lonely weeks he found a spot of something like
refuge in Leila's sitting-room, and would go there often for half an
hour when she was back from her hospital. That little black-walled room
with its Japanese prints and its flowers, soothed him. And Leila soothed
him, innocent as he was of any knowledge of her latest aberration,
and perhaps conscious that she herself was not too happy. To watch
her arranging flowers, singing her little French songs, or to find her
beside him, listening to his confidences, was the only real pleasure
he knew in these days. And Leila, in turn, would watch him and think:
'Poor Edward! He has never lived; and never will; now!' But
sometimes the thought would shoot through her: 'Perhaps he's to be
envied. He doesn't feel what I feel, anyway. Why did I fall in love
again?'
They did not speak of Noel as a rule, but one evening she expressed her
views roundly.
“It was a great mistake to make Noel come back. Edward. It was
Quixotic. You'll be lucky if real mischief doesn't come of it.
She's not a patient character; one day she'll do something rash.
And, mind you, she'll be much more likely to break out if she sees the
world treating you badly than if it happens to herself. I should send
her back to the country, before she makes bad worse.”
“I can't do that, Leila. We must live it down together.”
“Wrong, Edward. You should take things as they are.”
With a heavy sigh Pierson answered:
“I wish I could see her future. She's so attractive. And her
defences are gone. She's lost faith, and belief in all that a good
woman should be. The day after she came back she told me she was ashamed
of herself. But since—she's not given a sign. She's so proud—my
poor little Nollie. I see how men admire her, too. Our Belgian friend is
painting her. He's a good man; but he finds her beautiful, and who can
wonder. And your friend Captain Fort. Fathers are supposed to be blind,
but they see very clear sometimes.”
Leila rose and drew down a blind.
“This sun,” she said. “Does Jimmy Fort come to you—often?”
“Oh! no; very seldom. But still—I can see.”
'You bat—you blunderer!' thought Leila: 'See! You can't even
see this beside you!'
“I expect he's sorry for her,” she said in a queer voice.
“Why should he be sorry? He doesn't know:”
“Oh, yes! He knows; I told him.”
“You told him!”
“Yes,” Leila repeated stubbornly; “and he's sorry for her.”
And even then “this monk” beside her did not see, and went
blundering on.
“No, no; it's not merely that he's sorry. By the way he looks at
her, I know I'm not mistaken. I've wondered—what do you think,
Leila. He's too old for her; but he seems an honourable, kind man.”
“Oh! a most honourable, kind man.” But only by pressing her hand
against her lips had she smothered a burst of bitter laughter. He, who
saw nothing, could yet notice Fort's eyes when he looked at Noel, and
be positive that he was in love with her! How plainly those eyes must
speak! Her control gave way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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