The day was still glowing, and now, in the cool of evening, his
refreshed senses soaked up its beauty. 'God has so made this world,'
he thought, 'that, no matter what our struggles and sufferings, it's
ever a joy to live when the sun shines, or the moon is bright, or the
night starry. Even we can't spoil it.' In Regent's Park the lilacs
and laburnums were still in bloom though June had come, and he gazed at
them in passing, as a lover might at his lady. His conscience pricked
him suddenly. Mrs. Mitchett and the dark-eyed girl she had brought
to him on New Year's Eve, the very night he had learned of his own
daughter's tragedy—had he ever thought of them since? How had that
poor girl fared? He had been too impatient of her impenetrable mood.
What did he know of the hearts of others, when he did not even know his
own, could not rule his feelings of anger and revolt, had not guided his
own daughter into the waters of safety! And Leila! Had he not been too
censorious in thought? How powerful, how strange was this instinct of
sex, which hovered and swooped on lives, seized them, bore them away,
then dropped them exhausted and defenceless! Some munition-wagons,
painted a dull grey, lumbered past, driven by sunburned youths in drab.
Life-force, Death-force—was it all one; the great unknowable momentum
from which there was but the one escape, in the arms of their Heavenly
Father? Blake's little old stanzas came into his mind:
“And we are put on earth a little space, That we may learn to bear the
beams of love; And these black bodies and this sunburnt face Are but a
cloud, and like a shady grove.
“For when our souls have learned the heat to bear, The cloud will
vanish, we shall hear His voice, Saying: Come out from the grove, my
love and care, And round my golden tent like lambs rejoice!”
Learned the heat to bear! Those lambs he had watched in a field that
afternoon, their sudden little leaps and rushes, their funny quivering
wriggling tails, their tiny nuzzling black snouts—what little miracles
of careless joy among the meadow flowers! Lambs, and flowers, and
sunlight! Famine, lust, and the great grey guns! A maze, a wilderness;
and but for faith, what issue, what path for man to take which did not
keep him wandering hopeless, in its thicket? 'God preserve our faith
in love, in charity, and the life to come!' he thought. And a blind
man with a dog, to whose neck was tied a little deep dish for pennies,
ground a hurdy-gurdy as he passed. Pierson put a shilling in the dish.
The man stopped playing, his whitish eyes looked up. “Thank you
kindly, sir; I'll go home now. Come on, Dick!” He tapped his way
round the corner, with his dog straining in front. A blackbird hidden
among the blossoms of an acacia, burst into evening song, and another
great grey munition-wagon rumbled out through the Park gate. 2
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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