The Church-clock was striking nine when he reached Leila's flat, went
up, and knocked. Sounds from-a piano ceased; the door was opened by
Noel. She recoiled when she saw who it was, and said:
“Why did you come, Daddy? It was much better not.”
“Are you alone here?”
“Yes; Leila gave me her key. She has to be at the hospital till ten
to-night.”
“You must come home with me, my dear.”
Noel closed the piano, and sat down on the divan. Her face had the
same expression as when he had told her that she could not marry Cyril
Morland.
“Come, Nollie,” he said; “don't be unreasonable. We must see
this through together.”
“No.”
“My dear, that's childish. Do you think the mere accident of your
being or not being at home can affect my decision as to what my duty
is?”
“Yes; it's my being there that matters. Those people don't care,
so long as it isn't an open scandal.”
“Nollie!”
“But it is so, Daddy. Of course it's so, and you know it. If I'm
away they'll just pity you for having a bad daughter. And quite right
too. I am a bad daughter.”
Pierson smiled. “Just like when you were a tiny.”
“I wish I were a tiny again, or ten years older. It's this half
age—But I'm not coming back with you, Daddy; so it's no good.”
Pierson sat down beside her.
“I've been thinking this over all day,” he said quietly.
“Perhaps in my pride I made a mistake when I first knew of your
trouble. Perhaps I ought to have accepted the consequences of my
failure, then, and have given up, and taken you away at once. After all,
if a man is not fit to have the care of souls, he should have the grace
to know it.”
“But you are fit,” cried Noel passionately; “Daddy, you are
fit!”
“I'm afraid not. There is something wanting in me, I don't know
exactly what; but something very wanting.”
“There isn't. It's only that you're too good—that's why!”
Pierson shook his head. “Don't, Nollie!”
“I will,” cried Noel. “You're too gentle, and you're too good.
You're charitable, and you're simple, and you believe in another
world; that's what's the matter with you, Daddy. Do you think they
do, those people who want to chase us out? They don't even begin to
believe, whatever they say or think. I hate them, and sometimes I hate
the Church; either it's hard and narrow, or else it's worldly.”
She stopped at the expression on her father's face, the most strange
look of pain, and horror, as if an unspoken treachery of his own had
been dragged forth for his inspection.
“You're talking wildly,” he said, but his lips were trembling.
“You mustn't say things like that; they're blasphemous and
wicked.”
Noel bit her lips, sitting very stiff and still, against a high blue
cushion. Then she burst out again:
“You've slaved for those people years and years, and you've had no
pleasure and you've had no love; and they wouldn't care that if
you broke your heart. They don't care for anything, so long as it all
seems proper. Daddy, if you let them hurt you, I won't forgive you!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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