In the dining-room of her father's house in that old London Square
between East and West, Gratian Laird, in the outdoor garb of a nurse,
was writing a telegram: “Reverend Edward Pierson, Kestrel, Tintern,
Monmouthshire. George terribly ill. Please come if you can. Gratian.”
Giving it to a maid, she took off her long coat and sat down for a
moment. She had been travelling all night, after a full day's work,
and had only just arrived, to find her husband between life and death.
She was very different from Noel; not quite so tall, but of a stronger
build; with dark chestnut-coloured hair, clear hazel eyes, and a broad
brow. The expression of her face was earnest, with a sort of constant
spiritual enquiry; and a singularly truthful look: She was just twenty;
and of the year that she had been married, had only spent six weeks
with her husband; they had not even a house of their own as yet. After
resting five minutes, she passed her hand vigorously over her face,
threw back her head, and walked up stairs to the room where he lay. He
was not conscious, and there was nothing to be done but sit and watch
him.
'If he dies,' she thought, 'I shall hate God for His cruelty. I
have had six weeks with George; some people have sixty years.'
She fixed her eyes on his face, short and broad, with bumps of
“observation” on the brows. He had been sunburnt. The dark lashes of
his closed eyes lay on deathly yellow cheeks; his thick hair grew rather
low on his broad forehead. The lips were just open and showed strong
white teeth. He had a little clipped moustache, and hair had grown on
his clean-cut jaw. His pyjama jacket had fallen open. Gratian drew it
close. It was curiously still, for a London day, though the window
was wide open. Anything to break this heavy stupor, which was not
only George's, but her own, and the very world's! The cruelty of
it—when she might be going to lose him for ever, in a few hours or
days! She thought of their last parting. It had not been very loving,
had come too soon after one of those arguments they were inclined to
have, in which they could not as yet disagree with suavity. George had
said there was no future life for the individual; she had maintained
there was. They had grown hot and impatient. Even in the cab on the way
to his train they had pursued the wretched discussion, and the last kiss
had been from lips on lips yet warm from disagreement.
Ever since, as if in compunction, she had been wavering towards his
point of view; and now, when he was perhaps to solve the problem—find
out for certain—she had come to feel that if he died, she would never
see him after. It was cruel that such a blight should have come on her
belief at this, of all moments.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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