For one moment her lips clung to his with all their might. She wrenched
them away, felt for the handle blindly, opened the door, and, shutting
it in his face, went slowly, swaying a little, down the stairs. She
trailed a gloved hand along the wall, as if its solidity could help
her. At the last half-landing, where a curtain hung, dividing off back
premises, she stopped and listened. There wasn't a sound. 'If I
stand here behind this curtain,' she thought, 'I shall see him
again.' She slipped behind the curtain, close drawn but for a little
chink. It was so dark there that she could not see her own hand. She
heard the door open, and his slow footsteps coming down the stairs. His
feet, knees, whole figure came into sight, his face just a dim blur. He
passed, smoking a cigarette. She crammed her hand against her mouth to
stop herself from speaking and the crushed gardenia filled her nostrils
with its cold, fragrant velvet. He was gone, the door below was shut. A
wild, half-stupid longing came on her to go up again, wait till he came
in, throw herself upon him, tell him she was going, beg him to keep her
with him. Ah! and he would! He would look at her with that haggard pity
she could not bear, and say, “Of course, Leila, of course.” No! By
God, no! “I am going quietly home,” she muttered; “just quietly
home! Come along, be brave; don't be a fool! Come along!” And she
went down into the street: At the entrance to the Park she saw him,
fifty yards in front, dawdling along. And, as if she had been his shadow
lengthened out to that far distance, she moved behind him. Slowly,
always at that distance, she followed him under the plane-trees, along
the Park railings, past St. James's Palace, into Pall Mall. He went up
some steps, and vanished into his Club. It was the end. She looked up
at the building; a monstrous granite tomb, all dark. An emptied cab was
just moving from the door. She got in. “Camelot Mansions, St. John's
Wood.” And braced against the cushions, panting, and clenching her
hands, she thought: 'Well, I've seen him again. Hard crust's
better than no bread. Oh, God! All finished—not a crumb, not a crumb!
Vive-la, vive-la, vive-la ve. Vive-la compagnie!'
XIV
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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