Fort had been lying there about an hour, sleeping and awake, before that
visit: He had dreamed a curious and wonderfully emotionalising dream. A
long grey line, in a dim light, neither of night nor morning, the whole
length of the battle-front in France, charging in short drives, which
carried the line a little forward, with just a tiny pause and suck-back;
then on again irresistibly, on and on; and at each rush, every voice,
his own among them, shouted “Hooray! the English! Hooray! the
English!” The sensation of that advancing tide of dim figures in grey
light, the throb and roar, the wonderful, rhythmic steady drive of it,
no more to be stopped than the waves of an incoming tide, was gloriously
fascinating; life was nothing, death nothing. “Hooray, the English!”
In that dream, he was his country, he was every one of that long
charging line, driving forward in. those great heaving pulsations,
irresistible, on and on. Out of the very centre of this intoxicating
dream he had been dragged by some street noise, and had closed his eyes
again, in the vain hope that he might dream it on to its end. But it
came no more; and lighting his pipe, he lay there wondering at its
fervid, fantastic realism. Death was nothing, if his country lived and
won. In waking hours he never had quite that single-hearted knowledge of
himself. And what marvellously real touches got mixed into the fantastic
stuff of dreams, as if something were at work to convince the dreamer
in spite of himself—“Hooray!” not “Hurrah!” Just common
“Hooray!” And “the English,” not the literary “British.” And
then the soft flower had struck his forehead, and Leila's voice cried:
“Jimmy!”
When she left him, his thought was just a tired: 'Well, so it's
begun again!' What did it matter, since common loyalty and compassion
cut him off from what his heart desired; and that desire was absurd, as
little likely of attainment as the moon. What did it matter? If it gave
her any pleasure to love him, let it go on! Yet, all the time that he
was walking across under the plane trees, Noel seemed to walk in front
of him, just out of reach, so that he ached with the thought that he
would never catch her up, and walk beside her.
Two days later, on reaching his rooms in the evening, he found this
letter on ship's note-paper, with the Plymouth postmark—
“Fare thee well, and if for ever, Then for ever fare thee well”
“Leila”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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