Under
any other circumstances, he would have encountered his mother after such
an ineffectual enterprise, conscious as he was of carrying back nothing
but heightened suspicion, with very uncomfortable feelings, and would
have been in his own person too profoundly concerned about this dreadful
danger which menaced his only sister, to be able to rest or occupy
himself about other things. But the fact was, that whenever he relapsed
into the solitary carriage in which he travelled to Carlingford, and
when utterly quiet and alone, wrapped in the haze of din and smoke and
speed which abstracts railway travellers from all the world,--gave
himself up to thought, the rosy hue of his own hopes came stealing over
him unawares. Now and then he woke up, as men wake up from a doze, and
made a passing snatch at his fears. But again and again they eluded his
grasp, and the indefinite brightness which had no foundation in reason,
swallowed up everything which interfered with its power. The effect of
this was to make the young man preternaturally solemn when he entered
the room where his mother awaited him. He felt the reality of the fear
so much less than he ought to do, that it was necessary to put on twice
the appearance. Had he really been as deeply anxious and alarmed as he
should have been, he would naturally have tried to ease and lighten the
burden of the discovery to his mother; feeling it so hazily as he did,
no such precautions occurred to him. She rose up when he came in, with a
face which gradually paled out of all its colour as he approached. When
he was near enough to hold out his hand to her, Mrs. Vincent was nearly
fainting. "Arthur," she cried, in a scarcely audible voice, "God have
pity upon us; it is true: I can see it in your face."
"Mother, compose yourself. I have no evidence that it is true. I have
discovered nothing," cried Vincent, in alarm.
The widow dropped heavily into her chair, and sobbed aloud. "I can read
it in your face," she said. "Oh! my dear boy, have you seen that--that
villain? Does he confess it? Oh, my Susan, my Susan! I will never
forgive myself; I have killed my child."
From this passion it was difficult to recover her, and Vincent had to
represent so strongly the fact that he had ascertained nothing certain,
and that, for anything he could tell, Fordham might still prove himself
innocent, that he almost persuaded his own mind in persuading hers.
"His letters might be taken in at a place where he did not live, for
convenience sake," said Vincent. "The man might think me a dun, or
something disagreeable. Fordham himself, for anything we can tell, may
be very angry about it. Cheer up, mother; things are no worse than they
were last night. I give you my word I have made no discovery, and
perhaps to-morrow may bring us a letter clearing it all up."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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