"Ah! Arthur, you are so young and hopeful. It is different with me, who
have seen so many terrors come true," said the mother, who
notwithstanding was comforted. As for Vincent, he felt neither the
danger nor the suspense. His whole soul was engrossed with the fact that
it was time to dress; and it was with a little conscious sophistry that
he himself made the best of it, and excused himself for his
indifference.
"I can't bear to leave you, mother, in such suspense and distress," he
said, looking at his watch; "but--I have to be at Lady Western's at
half-past six."
Mrs. Vincent looked up with an expression of stupified surprise and pain
for a moment, then brightened all at once. "My dear, I have laid out all
your things," she said, with animation. "Do you think I would let you
miss it, Arthur? Never mind talking to me. I shall hear all about it
when you come home to-night. Now go, dear, or you will be late. I will
come and talk to you when you are dressing, if you don't mind your
mother? Well, perhaps not. I will stay here, and you can call me when
you are ready, and I will bring you a cup of tea. I am sure you are
tired, what with the fatigue and what with the anxiety. But you must try
to put it off your mind, and enjoy yourself to-night."
"Yes, mother," said Vincent, hastening away; the tears were in her
gentle eyes when she gave him that unnecessary advice. She pressed his
hands fast in hers when he left her at last, repeating it, afraid in her
own heart that this trouble had spoilt all the brightness of the opening
hopes which she perceived with so much pride and joy. When he was gone,
she sat down by the solitary fire, and cried over her Susan in an utter
forlornness and helplessness, which only a woman, so gentle, timid, and
unable to struggle for herself, could feel. Her son, in the mean time,
walked down Grange Lane, first with a momentary shame at his own want of
feeling, but soon, with an entire forgetfulness both of the shame and
the subject of it, absorbed in thoughts of his reception there. With a
palpitating heart he entered the dark garden, now noiseless and chill in
winterly decay, and gazed at the lighted windows which had looked like
distant planets to him the last time he saw them. He lingered looking at
them, now that the moment approached so near. A remembrance of his
former disappointment went to his heart with a momentary pang as he
hesitated on the edge of his present happiness. Another moment and he
had thrown himself again, with a degree of suppressed excitement
wonderful to think of, upon the chances of his fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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