When, therefore, the late minister came seeking his counsel, the soutar
proposed, without giving any special reason for it, that he should
accompany him the next Sunday afternoon, to his school at Bogiescratt;
and James consenting, the soutar undertook to call for him at Stonecross
on his way.
“Mr. MacLear,” said James, as they walked along the rough parish road
together, “I have but just arrived at a point I ought to have reached
before even entertaining a thought of opening my mouth upon anything
belonging to religion. Perhaps I knew some little things _about_
religion; certainly I knew nothing _of_ religion; least of all had I
made any discovery for myself _in_ religion; and before that, how can a
man understand or know anything whatever concerning it? Even now I may
be presuming, but now at last, if I may dare to say so, I do seem to
have begun to recognize something of the relation between a man and the
God who made him; and with the sense of that, as I ventured to hint
when I saw you last Friday, there has risen in my mind a desire to
communicate to my fellow-men something of what I have seen and learned.
One thing I dare to hope—that, at the first temptation to show-off, I
shall be made aware of my danger, and have the grace given me to pull
up. And one thing I have resolved upon—that, if ever I preach again, I
will never again write a sermon. I know I shall make many blunders, and
do the thing very badly; but failure itself will help to save me from
conceit—will keep me, I hope, from thinking of myself at all, enabling
me to leave myself in God’s hands, willing to fail if he please. Don’t
you think, Mr. MacLear, we may even now look to God for what we ought to
say, as confidently as if, like the early Christians, we stood accused
before the magistrates?”
“I div that, Maister Jeames!” answered the soutar. “Hide yersel in God,
sir, and oot o’ that secret place, secret and safe, speyk—and fear
naething. And never ye mint at speykin _doon_ to your congregation. Luik
them straucht i’ the een, and say what at the moment ye think and feel;
and dinna hesitate to gie them the best ye hae.”
“Thank you, thank you, sir! I think I understand,” replied James.—“If
ever I speak again, I should like to begin in your school!”
“Ye sall—this vera nicht, gien ye like,” rejoined the soutar. “I think
ye hae something e’en noo upo yer min’ ’at ye would like to say to
them—but we’ll see hoo ye feel aboot it efter I hae said a word to them
first!”
“When you have said what you want to say, Mr. MacLear, give me a look;
and if I _have_ anything to say, I will respond to your sign. Then you
can introduce me, saying what you will. Only dinna spare me; use me
after your judgment.”
The soutar held out his hand to his disciple, and they finished their
journey in silence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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