Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
Lord Tilbury sighed. He found this young man’s eccentricities
increasingly hard to bear. With that sad wistfulness which the Greeks
called _pathos_ and the Romans _desiderium_, he thought of the happy
days, only a few weeks back, when he had been a peaceful, care-free man,
ignorant of Sam’s very existence. He had had his troubles then, no
doubt; but how small and trivial they seemed now.
“I suppose Twist will shave off his moustache if you wish it,” he said
wearily.
Chancing to catch that eminent private investigator’s eye, he was
surprised to note its glazed and despairing expression. The man had the
air of one who has received a death sentence.
“Shave it?” quavered Chimp, fondling the growth tenderly. “Shave my
moustache?”
“Shave it,” said Sam firmly. “Hew it down. Raze it to the soil and sow
salt upon the foundations.”
“Very good, sir,” said Chimp lugubriously.
“That is settled then,” said Lord Tilbury, relieved. “So you will enter
Mr. Shotter’s employment immediately, Twist.”
Chimp nodded a mournful nod.
“You will find Twist thoroughly satisfactory, I am sure. He is quiet,
sober, respectful and hard-working.”
“Ah, that’s bad,” said Sam.
Lord Tilbury heaved another sigh.
CHAPTER TWENTY
TROUBLE IN THE SYNDICATE
When Chimp Twist left Tilbury House, he turned westward along the
Embankment, for he had an appointment to meet his colleagues of the
syndicate at the Lyons tea shop in Green Street, Leicester Square. The
depression which had swept over him on hearing Sam’s dreadful edict had
not lasted long. Men of Mr. Twist’s mode of life are generally
resilient. They have to be.
After all, he felt, it would be churlish of him, in the face of this
almost supernatural slice of luck, to grumble at the one crumpled rose
leaf. Besides, it would only take him about a couple of days to get away
with the treasure of Mon Repos, and then he could go into retirement and
grow his moustache again. For there is this about moustaches, as about
whiskers--though of these Mr. Twist, to do him justice, had never been
guilty--that, like truth, though crushed to the earth, they will rise. A
little patience and his moustache will rise on stepping-stones of its
dead self to higher things. Yes, when the fields were white with daisies
it would return. Pondering thus, Chimp Twist walked briskly to the end
of the Embankment, turned up Northumberland Avenue, and reaching his
destination, found Mr. and Mrs. Molloy waiting for him at a table in a
far corner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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