Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“You poor cake eater!” she cried with justifiable vigour. “You talk as
if it needed a college education to lean a stuffed eelskin on a guy’s
head. Of course you can do it. You’re behind the kitchen door, see?--and
he comes in, see?--and you sim’ly bust him one, see? A feller with one
arm and no legs could do it. And, say, if you want something to brace
you up, think of all that money lying in the cistern, just waiting for
us to come and dip for it!”
“Ah!” said Mr. Molloy, brightening.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
AUNT YSOBEL POINTS THE WAY
§ 1
Claire Lippett sat in the kitchen of San Rafael, reading Pyke’s _Home
Companion_. It was Mr. Wrenn’s kindly custom to bring back a copy for
her each week on the day of publication, thus saving her an outlay of
twopence. She was alone in the house, for Kay was up in London doing
some shopping, and Mr. Wrenn, having come in and handed over the current
number, had gone off for a game of chess with his friend, Cornelius.
She was not expecting to be alone long. Muffins lay on the table, all
ready to be toasted; a cake which she had made herself stood beside
them; and there was also a new tin of anchovy paste--all of which
dainties were designed for the delectation of Hash Todhunter, her
fiancé, who would shortly be coming to tea.
As a rule, Pyke’s _Home Companion_ absorbed Claire’s undivided
attention, for she was one of its most devoted supporters; but this
evening she found her mind wandering, for there was that upon it which
not even Cordelia Blair’s _Hearts Aflame_ could conjure away.
Claire was worried. On the previous day a cloud had fallen on her life,
not exactly blotting out the sunshine, but seeming to threaten some such
eclipse in the near future. She had taken Hash to John Street for a
formal presentation to her mother, and it was on the way home that she
had first observed the approach of the cloud.
Hash’s manner had seemed to her peculiar. A girl who has just become
romantically betrothed to a man does not expect that man, when they are
sitting close together on the top of an omnibus, to talk moodily of the
unwisdom of hasty marriages.
It pains and surprises her when he mentions friends of his who, plunging
hot-heatedly into matrimony, spent years of subsequent regret. And when,
staring woodenly before him, he bids her look at Samson, Doctor Crippen
and other celebrities who were not fortunate in their domestic lives,
she feels a certain alarm.
And such had been the trend of Hash Todhunter’s conversation, coming
home from John Street. Claire, recalling the more outstanding of his
dicta, felt puzzled and unhappy, and not even the fact that Cordelia
Blair had got her hero into a ruined mill with villains lurking on the
ground floor and dynamite stored in the basement could enchain her
interest. She turned the page listlessly and found herself confronted by
Aunt Ysobel’s Chats With My Girls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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