Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“Ah!” Claire bent darkly over her cauldron. “You never know when there
won’t be burglars in these low parts. The girl at Pontresina down the
road was telling me they’d had a couple of milk cans sneaked off their
doorstep only yesterday. And I’ll tell you another thing, Miss Kay. It’s
my belief there’s been people breaking into Mon Ree-poss.”
“What would they do that for? It’s empty.”
“It wasn’t empty last night. I was looking out of the window with one of
my noo-ralgic headaches--must have been between two and three in the
morning--and there was mysterious lights going up and down the
staircase.”
“You imagined it.”
“Begging your pardon, Miss Kay, I did not imagine it. There they were,
as plain as plain. Might have been one of these electric torches the
criminal classes use. If you want to know what I think, Miss Kay, that
Mon Ree-poss is what I call a house of mystery, and I shan’t be sorry
when somebody respectable comes and takes it. The way it is now, we’re
just as likely as not to wake up and find ourselves all murdered in our
beds.”
“You mustn’t be so nervous.”
“Nervous?” replied Claire indignantly. “Nervous? Take more than a
burglar to make me nervous. All I’m saying is, I’m prepared.”
“Well, don’t go shooting Mr. Braddock.”
“That,” said Miss Lippett, declining to commit herself, “is as may be.”
CHAPTER THREE
SAILORS DON’T CARE
Some five hours after Willoughby Braddock’s departure from San Rafael, a
young man came up Villiers Street, and turning into the Strand, began to
stroll slowly eastward. The Strand, it being the hour when the theatres
had begun to empty themselves, was a roaring torrent of humanity and
vehicles; and he looked upon the bustling scene with the affectionate
eye of one who finds the turmoil of London novel and attractive. He was
a nice-looking young man, but what was most immediately noticeable about
him was his extraordinary shabbiness. Both his shoes were split across
the toe; his hands were in the pockets of a stained and weather-beaten
pair of blue trousers; and he gazed about him from under the brim of a
soft hat which could have been worn without exciting comment by any
scarecrow.
So striking was his appearance that two exquisites, emerging from the
Savoy Hotel and pausing on the pavement to wait for a vacant taxi, eyed
him with pained disapproval as he approached, and then, starting, stared
in amazement.
“Good Lord!” said the first exquisite.
“Good heavens!” said the second.
“See who that is?”
“S. P. Shotter! Used to be in the School House.”
“Captain of football my last year.”
“But, I say, it can’t be! Dressed like that, I mean.”
“It is.”
“Good heavens!”
“Good Lord!”
These two were men who had, in the matter of costume, a high standard.
Themselves snappy and conscientious dressers, they judged their fellows
hardly. Yet even an indulgent critic would have found it difficult not
to shake his head over the spectacle presented by Sam Shotter as he
walked the Strand that night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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