Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“I have business in Lombard Street,” said Mrs. Hammond, discouraging
with a cold look what seemed to her, rightly or wrongly, a disposition
on the part of this young man to do the honours and behave generally as
if he were trying to suggest that Tilbury House was his personal
property but that any relative of Lord Tilbury was welcome there. “I
have to visit my bank.”
“I shall have to visit mine pretty soon,” said Sam, “or the wolf will be
scratching at the door.”
“If you are short of funds----” began Lord Tilbury.
“Oh, I’m all right for the present, thanks. I pinched close on fifty
pounds from a man this morning.”
“You did what?” said Lord Tilbury blankly.
“Pinched fifty pounds. Surprising he should have had so much on him. But
lucky--for me.”
“Did he make any objection to your remarkable behaviour?”
“He was asleep at the time, and I didn’t wake him. I just left a poached
egg on his pillow and came away.”
Lord Tilbury swallowed convulsively and his eye sought that of Mrs.
Hammond in a tortured glare.
“A poached egg?” he whispered.
“So that he would find it there when he woke,” explained Sam.
Mrs. Hammond had abandoned her intention of withdrawing and leaving the
two men together for a cosy chat. Georgie, it seemed to her from his
expression, needed a woman’s loving support. Sam appeared to have
affected him like some unpleasant drug, causing starting of the eyes and
twitching of the muscles.
“It is a pity you missed the _Mauretania_, Mr. Shotter,” she said. “My
brother had hoped that you would travel with him so that you could have
a good talk about what you were to do when you joined his staff.”
“Great pity,” said Sam, omitting to point out that it was for that very
reason that he had allowed the _Mauretania_ to depart without him.
“However, it’s all right. I have found my niche.”
“You have done what?”
“I have selected my life work.” He pulled out of his pocket a crumpled
paper. “I would like to attach myself to Pyke’s _Home Companion_. I
bought a copy on my way here, and it is the goods. You aren’t reading
the serial by any chance, are you--_Hearts Aflame_, by Cordelia Blair? A
winner. I only had time to glance at the current instalment, but it was
enough to make me decide to dig up the back numbers at the earliest
possible moment. In case you haven’t read it, it is Leslie Mordyke’s
wedding day, and a veiled woman with a foreign accent has just risen in
the body of the church and forbidden the banns. And,” said Sam warmly,
“I don’t blame her. It appears that years ago----”
Lord Tilbury was making motions of distress, and Mrs. Hammond bent
solicitously, like one at a sick bed, to catch his fevered whisper.
“My brother,” she announced, “wishes----”
“----was hoping,” corrected Lord Tilbury.
“----was hoping,” said Mrs. Hammond, accepting the emendation, “that
you would join the staff of the _Daily Record_ so that you might be
under his personal eye.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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