Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“He hadn’t then. We only run into each other ten days ago. I was walking
up the Haymarket and I catch sight of a feller behind me out of the
corner of my eye, so I faint on him, see?”
“You’re still in that line, eh?”
“Well, it’s what I do best, isn’t it?”
Chimp nodded. Dora Molloy--Fainting Dolly to her friends--was
unquestionably an artist in her particular branch of industry. It was
her practice to swoon in the arms of rich-looking strangers in the
public streets and pick their pockets as they bent to render her
assistance. It takes all sorts to do the world’s work.
“Well, then I seen it was Soapy, and so we go to lunch and have a nice
chat. I always was strong for that boy, and we were both feeling kind of
lonesome over here in London, so we fix it up. And now I’m sim’ly
miserable.”
“What,” inquired Mr. Twist, “is biting you?”
“Well, I’ll tell you. This is what’s happened: Last night this bird
Soapy goes out after supper and doesn’t blow in again till four in the
morning. Four in the morning, I’ll trouble you, and us only married two
days. Well, if he thinks a young bride’s going to stand for that sort of
conduct right plumb spang in the middle of what you might call the
honeymoon, he’s got a second guess due him.”
“What did you do?” asked Mr. Twist sympathetically, but with a touch of
that rather unctuous complacency which bachelors display at moments like
this.
“I did plenty. And he tried to alibi himself by pulling a story. That
story the grand jury is now going to investigate and investigate
good.... Chimp, did you ever hear of a man named Finglass?”
There was that in Mr. Twist’s manner that seemed to suggest that he was
a reluctant witness, but he answered after a brief hesitation.
“Sure!”
“Oh, you did, eh? Well, who was he then?”
“He was big,” said Chimp, and there was a note of reverence in his
voice. “One of the very biggest, old Finky was.”
“How was he big? What did he ever do?”
“Well, it was before your time and it happened over here, so I guess you
may not have heard of it; but he took a couple of million dollars away
from the New Asiatic Bank.”
Mrs. Molloy was undeniably impressed. The formidable severity of her
manner seemed to waver.
“Were you and Soapy mixed up with him?”
“Sure! We were the best pals he had.”
“Is he alive?”
“No; he died in Buenos Aires the other day.”
Mrs. Molloy bit her lower lip thoughtfully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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