Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“Two million smackers it’s going to get him,” retorted Dolly.
“Two million smackers nothing! The stuff’s hidden in a place where he’d
never think of looking in two million years.”
“You can’t bluff me, Chimp Twist,” said Dolly, gazing at him with the
cold disdain of a princess confronted with a boll weevil. “If he keeps
on looking, it stands to reason----”
She broke off. The door had opened and a man was entering. He was a
fine, handsome, open-faced man of early middle age. At the sight of this
person Chimp Twist’s eyes narrowed militantly, but Dolly flung herself
into his arms with a remorseful cry.
“Oh, Soapy, darling! How I misjudged you!”
The new-comer had had the air of a man weighed down with the maximum
amount of sorrow which a human being can bear. This demonstration,
however, seemed to remove something of the burden.
“’S all right, sweetness,” he said, clasping her to his swelling bosom.
“Was I mean to my angel-face?”
“There, there, honey lamb!”
Chimp Twist looked sourly upon this nauseating scene of marital
reconciliation.
“Ah, cut it out!” he growled.
“Chimp’s told me everything, baby doll,” proceeded Mrs. Molloy. “I know
all about that money, and you just keep right along, precious, hunting
for it by yourself. I don’t mind how often you stay out nights or how
late you stay out.”
It was a generous dispensation, for which many husbands would have been
grateful, but Soapy Molloy merely smiled a twisted, tortured smile of
ineffable sadness. He looked like an unsuccessful candidate hearing the
result of a presidential election.
“It’s all off, honey bunch,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s cold,
petty. We’ll have to let Chimp in on it after all, sweetie-pie. I came
here to put my cards on the table and have a show-down.”
A quivering silence fell upon the room. Mrs. Molloy was staring at her
husband, aghast. As for Chimp, he was completely bewildered. The theory
that his old comrade had had a change of heart--that his conscience,
putting in some rapid work after getting off to a bad start, had caused
him to regret his intention of double-crossing a friend, was too bizarre
to be tenable. Soapy Molloy was not the sort of man to have changes of
heart. Chimp, in his studies of the motion-picture drama, had once seen
a film where a tough egg had been converted by hearing a church organ,
but he knew Mr. Molloy well enough to be aware that all the organs in
all the churches in London might play in his ear simultaneously without
causing him to do anything more than grumble at the noise.
“The house has been taken,” said Soapy despondently.
“Taken? What do you mean?”
“Rented.”
“Rented? When?”
“I heard this morning. I was in a saloon down Fleet Street way, and two
fellows come in and one of them was telling the other how he’d just
rented this joint.”
Chimp Twist uttered a discordant laugh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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