Samantha Among the Brethren, CompleteHolley, Marietta
General
Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete
Holley, Marietta
Methodism -- Humor; Women in church work -- Methodist church -- Humor; Women's rights -- Humor
Wall, it's bein' such an uncommon bad day, there wuzn't many to the
funeral. But we rode to the meetin'-house in Loontown in a state and
splendor that I never expect to again. Cephas had hired eleven mournin'
coaches, and the day bein' so bad, and so few a-turnin' out to the
funeral, that in order to occupy all the coaches--and Cephas thought it
would look better and more popular to have 'em all occupied--we divided
up, and Josiah went in one, alone, and lonesome as a dog, as he said
afterwards to me. And I sot up straight and oncomfortable in another one
on 'em, stark alone.
Cephas had one to himself, and his wife another one, and two old maids,
sisters of Cephas'ses who always made a point of attendin' funerals,
they each one of 'em had one. S. Annie and her children, of course, had
the first one, and then the minister had one, and one of the trustees in
the neighborhood had another; so we lengthened out into quite a crowd,
all a-follerin' the shiny hearse, and the casket all covered with showy
plated nails. I thought of it in jest that way, for Wellington, I knew,
the real Wellington, wuzn't there. No, he wuz fur away--as fur as the
Real is from the Unreal. Wall, we filed into the Loontown meetin'-house
in pretty good shape. The same meetin'-house I had been sent to
reconoiter. But Cephas hadn't no black handkerchief, and he looked
worried about it. He had shed tears a-tellin' me about it, what a
oversight it wuz, while I wuz a fixin' on his mournin' weed. He took it
into his head to have a deeper weed at the last minute, so I fixed it
on. He had the weed come up to the top of his hat and lap over. I never
see so tall a weed. But it suited Cephas; he said “he thought it showed
deep respect.”
“Wall,” sez I, “it is a deep weed, anyway--the deepest I ever see.” And
he said as I wuz a sewin' it on, he a-holdin' his hat for me, “that
Wellington deserved it; he deserved it all.”
But, as I say, he shed tears to think that his handkerchief wuzn't
black-bordered. He said “it wuz a fearful oversight; it would probably
make talk.”
“But,” I sez, “mebby it won't be noticed.”
[Illustration: “AS A PROCESSION WE WUZ MIDDLIN' LONG, BUT RUTHER
THIN.”]
“Yes, it will,” sez he. “It will be noticed.” And sez he, “I don't care
about myself, but I am afraid it will reflect onto Wellington. I am
afraid they will think it shows a lack of respect for him. For
Wellington's sake I feel cut down about it.”
And I sez, “I guess where Wellington is now, the color of a handkerchief
border hain't a-goin' to make much difference to him either way.”
And I don't spoze it wuz noticed much, for there wuzn't more'n ten or a
dozen folks there when we went in. We went in in Injin file mostly by
Cephas'ses request, so's to make more show. And as a procession we wuz
middlin' long, but ruther thin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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