"But," sez she, after she had got all through with the rest of her complaints--"if the white stripes wuz where the black wuz, and the black where the white wuz, she should like it quite well." And there it wuz, even check, two and two. Wall, that wuz a sample of her doin's. If anybody had a Roman nose she wanted a Greecy one. [Illustration: "IF THE WHITE STRIPES WUZ WHERE THE BLACK WUZ."] And if the nose wuz Greece, why then she wanted Rome. Why, Josiah sez to me along about the third week, he said (to ourselves, in private), "that if Lodema went to Heaven she would be dissatisfied with it, and think it wuz livelier, and more goin' on down to the other place." And he said she would get the angels all stirred up a findin' fault with their feathers. I told him "I would not hear such talk." "Wall," sez he, "don't you believe it?" And I kinder turned him off, and wouldn't tell, and told him it wuz wicked to talk so. "Wall," sez Josiah, "you dassent say she wouldn't." And I dassent, though I wouldn't own it up to him, I dassent. And if she kinder got out of other occupations for a minute durin' them first weeks she would be a quarrelin' with Josiah Allen about age. I s'pose she and Josiah wuzn't far from the same age, for they wuz children together. But she wanted to make out she wuz young. And she would tell Josiah that "he seemed jest like a father to her, and always had." And sometimes when she felt the most curius, she would call him "Father," and "Pa," and "Papa." And it would mad Josiah Allen so that I would have all I could do to quell him down. Now I didn't feel so, I didn't mind it so much. Why, there would be days, when she felt the curiusest, that she would call me "Mother," and "Ma," and foller me round with foot-stools and things, when I went to set down, and would kinder worry over my fallin' off the back step, and would offer to help me up the suller stairs, and so forth, and watchin' over what I et, and tellin' me folks of my age ort to be careful, and not over-eat. And Josiah asked me to ask her "How she felt about that time?" For she wuz from three to four years older than I wuz. But I wouldn't contend with her, and the footstools come kinder handy, I had jest as lieve have 'em under my feet as not, and ruther. And as for rich vittles not agreein' with me, and my not over-eatin', I broke that tip by fallin' right in with her, and not cookin' such good things--that quelled her down, and gaulded Josiah too. But, as I said, it riled Josiah the worst of anything to have Lodema call him father, for he wants to make out that he is kinder young himself.