I have always found that it hain't best to draw the matrimonial rope too tight round your pardner's jungular veins. I see he wuz sot on goin' and I felt I would ruther he would go with me who could have some savin' control over him, than to have him git reckless and sally off alone. So it wuz settled that we should go that night at early candle light. And Faith wuz to go with us. Yes, I, Josiah Allen's wife, had gin my consent to go to a dance. But jest so the environin' cord of circumstances gits us all wound up in its tangles time and agin. And as the way of poor weak mortals is, havin' made up my mind to go I tried to bring to mind all the mitigatin' circumstances I could. I thought of how the lambs capered on the hillside, how the leaves on the trees danced to the music of the south wind, and how even the motes swung round with each other in the sunlight. And then I thought of how David danced before the ark, and how Jeptha's daughter danced out to meet her father (to be sure she had her head took off for it, but I tried to not dwell on that side of the subject). And then I remembered how I did love music, and in spite of myself I felt kinder chirked up thinkin' I should enjoy quite a long spell on't. And thinkses I, if dancin' is a little mite off from the hite Methodists ort to stand on, music is the most heavenly thing we can lay holt of below, so I sort o' tried to even up them two peaks in my mind and lay a level onto 'em and try to make myself believe they struck about a fair plane of megumness, and shet my eyes to the idee that it slanted off some and wuz slippery. Oh what weak creeters we be anyhow! Well, that night there wuz goin' to be a extra big party, and I wuz for startin' at once after supper, for truly I felt that I wuz performin' a hard and arjous job, and as my way is I wuz for tacklin' it to once and gittin' over it. Yes, I felt it wuz goin' to be a wearin' job to git Josiah Allen to that parlor durin' them festivities and back agin with no damage or scandal arisin' from the enterprise. But Faith sez, "It will be too early, they won't begin to dance till eight. We eat at six." And I sez, "For the land's sake! if I'd got to dance I should begin early and stop early, so's to git a little rest." And she sez: "Young folks don't think about that." Well, we compromised on half past seven (most bed-time). And when Faith knocked at our door at that epoch of time we wuz all ready. Josiah had carefully combed his few locks of gray hair upwards over his bald head, had donned a sweet smilin' look, and a cravat, gayer fur than I approved of (he'd bought it durin' the day onbeknown to me). And I had arrayed my noble figger in my usual cotton and wool brown dress, brightened up at the neck and sleeves with snowy collar and cuffs, and further enriched by the large cameo pin. I also carried a turkey feather fan that harmonized in color with my dress. I looked exceedingly well and felt well.