The very evenin' after this, Fate and Mr. Pomper gin me a chance to carry out the plan I'd laid out heretofore. Josiah had stepped over to the post office, and Faith had walked over with him at my request, for she had a headache, and I told him to walk down to the wharf with her and see if the cool air wouldn't do her good. So she had put a black lace scarf over her pretty golden hair and went off with him. Well, there wuz big doin's at the Tabernacle that night, and it wuz a off night for music, and I found the parlor nearly deserted when I walked in and sot down in my accustomed easy chair. And no sooner had I sot down seemin'ly than Mr. Pomper's massive form emerged onto the seen, and he drawed up a chair and sot down by my side. Agreably to the plans I had laid down in my mind, I did not object to the move. But though a picture of calmness on the outside, inwardly I wuz callin' almost wildly on my powers of memory, tryin' to think jest what Malviny had done, one of the immortal Children of the Abbey, when Lord Mortimer approached her with his onlawful suit, and I tried also to recall what the Mountain Mourner had done in like circumstances, but before I had half done interviewin' them heroines in sperit my mind wuz recalled into the onwelcome present by Mr. Pomper's voice in my left ear: "I asked you, Josiah Allen's wife," sez he, "to listen to me, for I felt that you wuz the most proper person for me to state my feelings to. Since you and your party have entered this house," sez he, "I have had a great conflict goin' on between my mind and my heart." "Ah indeed! have you?" sez I, liftin' my nose at a angle of from forty to fifty degrees. "Yes," sez he, "I have had a great struggle between my heart and my common sense, and in the battle that ensued, Common Sense and Reason has had to retire into the background, and Heart has triumphed." "It is a great pity!" sez I, "Common Sense and Reason had much better come out ahead," and agin I lifted my nose to its extremest limit, and looked swords and prunin' knives at him. "That is just what most folks would say, I am aware, but listen to my story before you judge. I must reveal to you the state of my heart and affections!" How sure it is that when a kag is tapped the contents will run out no matter whether it is wine or water. At them bold words accompanied by the ardent rollin' of that lone orb, my well-laid plans all left my mind, nothin' wuz left but pure principle and devotion and loyalty to my pardner. The full kag emptied its contents over his nefarious purposes, and I bust out almost onbeknown to me and sez: "It is no use; it is vain, it is worse than vain! it is wicked!" "What," sez he, "is she engaged to another?" "Who?" sez I, turnin' like lightnin' and facin' him. "Why, Miss Smith, your niece or grand-child who is with you. That beauchious creature!" sez he. "Faithful Smith!" sez I faintly, "is she the one you are talkin' about?"