Samantha at the St. Louis ExpositionHolley, Marietta
General
Samantha at the St. Louis Exposition
Holley, Marietta
Louisiana Purchase Exposition (1904 : Saint Louis, Mo.) -- Fiction
Josiah thinks his eyes of his only son, and I see it kinder moved him,
but he wouldn't give his consent, and sez:
"What do you want hot water pipes and a furnace for in the summer?"
Sez I pintin' to the snowy fields, "Do you call this summer, Josiah? And
Thomas J. sez it will be so nice to have it all ready in the fall. And I
do wish, Josiah, you would hear to me."
"Well, well, I am hearin' you, hain't I, and been hearin' for a year
back, I hain't deef as an adder!" And he jammed his hat down over his
ears and went to the barn. But there wuz a sort of a waverin' expression
to his linement that made me have hopes.
Well, when I had, with the children's help and an enormous expenditure
of good vittles and eloquence, brought him round to the idee, I found I
had another trial worse than the first to contend with. Instead of
hirin' a first rate workman who knew his bizness, he wuz bound, on
account of cheapness, to hire a conceited creeter who thought he could
do anything better than anyone else could.
He knew how to milk, Jabez Wind did, and how to clean stables, and
plough and hoe corn. But he felt he could do plumbin' better than them
who had handled plumbs for years. And when I see Josiah wuz sot on
hirin' him to do the job I felt dretful, for he wuz no more fit for it
than our brindle cow to do fine sewin', or our old steer to give music
lessons on the banjo. He wuz a creeter I never liked, always tryin' to
invent sunthin' and always failin. But Josiah insisted on havin' him
because he wuz so much cheaper.
And I sez, "You'll sup sorrow yet, Josiah Allen, with your tendency to
save and scrimp. Jabez Wind don't know nothin' about such work; he
hain't got any shop or tools and I don't want him meddlin' round my
house. We want the rooms warmed good and we don't want a big noise and
racket, as I've hearn they make sometimes, I couldn't stand it with such
noise and cracklin' goin' on day and night."
"Oh," sez Josiah, "that's one great beauty of Jabezeses invention, it is
perfectly noiseless, not a murmur or gurgle from one year's end to the
other, and so easy to tend. Jest twice a year, he sez, to put a pail of
water in the upper tank, two pails of water a year to insure summer
warmth, no dirt, no noise, not much like luggin' in wood from mornin'
till night, breakin' your back cuttin' and splittin' it and litterin' up
the house."
The idee of the perfect stillness did tempt me, I so love comfort and
quiet, and also not havin' to sweep up after chips and kindlin' wood.
But yet how did we know these things wuz so? And agin I sez, "How do you
know he can do all this? He hain't got any tools."
Sez Josiah, "He's got idees if he hain't got tools. A man can borry
tools, but he can't dicker for such idees as Jabez has got. See the
things he's undertook."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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