Samantha at the St. Louis ExpositionHolley, Marietta
General
Samantha at the St. Louis Exposition
Holley, Marietta
Louisiana Purchase Exposition (1904 : Saint Louis, Mo.) -- Fiction
"You dum fool you! you don't know beans from a broom stick! I wouldn't
trust you to make splinters to do up a dog's leg!" And Jabez jawed back
again, and Josiah sez, "I'll make you pay heavy damages for this job,
and I've as good a mind as I ever had to eat, to give you a good
floggin' with a rawhide." And as he grew madder and madder he went on:
"This is your perfectly noiseless apparatus is it?" sez he pintin' down
towards the thunderin' roar, "this is your summer heat, hain't it?"
pintin' to the shiverin' crowd. "This is your freedom from
labor-two-pails-a-year job! one hundred pails of water have I lugged
upstairs to-night if I have a pint! Now," sez he, makin' towards him,
"do you start out of this house before I fall on you and rend you."
Karen screamed and rushed between 'em and fell onto Jabez and dragged
him off with her, he seemin' glad to go.
Well, we let the fire go down as low as we could without goin' out, and
went to bed shiverin' and half froze, but with soap stuns and hot-water
bags we made out to git through the night. In the mornin' a sorry seen
greeted us, coldness, discomfort, broken plasterin' and dirt, and no
prospect to all appearance of havin' any better times. The only gleam of
light I could see in the hull prospect wuz that Josiah in his excitement
and wretchedness had seemin'ly forgot that he'd ever mentioned the
Exposition of St. Josiah.
Well, right after breakfast Karen come over lookin' as if she hadn't
slep' a wink and sez she, "Jabez lay awake all night studyin' on it and
he knows now where he made the mistake, he pinted one small lead pipe up
where it ort to been pinted down, he can make it all right in an hour."
Well, Josiah, so sure it is that the hottest love soonest cools, vowed
that Jabez should never step his foot into the house agin. And I wuz
glad enough to see that Rosy agreed with him.
But I wuz naterally made more megum, and thought, any port in a storm,
and a hour won't be much anyway. If we've stood all this dirt and
confusion for five weeks we could stand it a hour longer.
"Well," sez Josiah, "I shall go into the woods for a jag of maple, I
won't see him, I dassent, for I should fall on him and destroy him if I
did."
So he went after a load of maple wood and Jabez come and tinkered and
hammered and pounded and then sayin' with some of his pride returned
into his port:
"It will go now like clock work."
He filled the tank and lit the fire agin with Ury's help. But I wuz glad
enough that Josiah wuz absent, for this time the noise wuz so skairful
that when Ury ketched Philury round the waist and absconded with her, he
didn't stop till they had ploughed through the snow clear past the old
hen house.
I, too, ketched Rosy by the arm and run and stumbled along most to the
barn before I remembered myself and regained my faculties, so to speak,
it wuz so turrible this time the loud, angry, roarin', hissin' noise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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