He seemed to think it would, I see by the looks of his linement he did. Every honorable man feels so in his heart, and yet they let the Liquor Ring control ’em and lead ’em round. “It is queer, queer as a dog.” Sez I, “The intellectual and moral power of the United States are rolled up and thrust into that Whiskey Ring and bein’ drove by the whiskey dealers jest where they want to drive ’em.” Sez I, “It controls New York village and nobody denies it, and the piety and philanthropy and culture and philosophy of that village has to be drawed along by that Ring.” And sez I, in low but startlin’ tones of principle: “Where, where is it a-drawin’ ’em to? Where is it drawin’ the hull nation to? Is it drawin’ ’em down into a slavery ten times more abject and soul-destroyin’ than African slavery ever wuz? Tell me,” sez I firmly, “tell me!” He did not try to frame a reply, he could not find a frame. He knowed it wuz a conundrum boundless as truth and God’s justice, and as solemnly deep in its sure consequences of evil as eternity, and as sure to come as that is. Oh, how solemn he looked, and how sorry I felt for him, for I knowed worse wuz to come, I knowed the sharpest arrow Serepta Pester had sent wuz yet to pierce his sperit. But I sort o’ blunted the edge on’t what I could conscientiously. Sez I, “I think myself Serepta is a little onreasonable, I myself am willin’ to wait three or four weeks. But she’s suffered dretful from intemperance from the Rings and from the want of rights, and her sufferin’s have made her more voylent in her demands and impatienter,” and then I fairly groaned as I did the rest of the errent, and let the sharpest arrow fly from the bo. “Serepta told me to tell you if you didn’t do these errents you should not be President next year.” He trembled like a popple leaf, and I felt that Serepta wuz threatenin’ him too hard. Sez he, “I do not wish to be President again, I shall refuse to be nominated. At the same time I _do_ wish to be President and shall work hard for the nomination if you can understand the paradox.” “Yes,” sez I, “I understand them paradoxes. I’ve lived with ’em as you may say, all through my married life.” A clock struck in the next room and I knowed time wuz passin’ swift. Sez the President, “I would be glad to do Serepta’s errents, I think she is justified in askin’ for her rights, and to have the Ring destroyed, but I am not the one to do them.” Sez I, “Who is the man or men?” He looked all round the room and up and down as if in hopes he could see someone layin’ round on the floor, or danglin’ from the ceilin’, that would take the responsibility offen him, and in the very nick of time the door opened after a quick rap, and the President jumped up with a relieved look on his linement, and sez: “Here is the very man to do the errents.” And he hastened to introduce me to the Senator who entered. And then he bid me a hasty adoo, but cordial and polite, and withdrew himself.