Domestic fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Widows -- Fiction
She sat down and tried to survey the situation divested of her midnight
fears. He had not referred to her wish to see the drawings: but what did
the omission signify? Might he not have forgotten her request? Was she
not forcing the most trivial details to fit in with her apprehensions?
Unfortunately for her own reassurance, she knew that her familiarity with
Dick’s processes was based on such minute observation, and that, to such
intimacy as theirs, no indications were trivial. She was as certain as if
he had spoken, that when he had left the house that morning he was weighing
the possibility of using Darrow’s drawings, of supplementing his own
incomplete design from the fulness of his friend’s invention. And with a
bitter pang she divined that he was sorry he had shown her Darrow’s letter.
It was impossible to remain face to face with such conjectures, and though
she had given up all her engagements during the few days since Darrow’s
death, she now took refuge in the thought of a concert which was to take
place at a friend’s house that morning. The music-room, when she entered,
was thronged with acquaintances, and she found transient relief in that
dispersal of attention which makes society an anesthetic for some forms
of wretchedness. Contact with the pressure of busy indifferent life often
gives remoteness to questions which have clung as close as the flesh to the
bone; and if Mrs. Peyton did not find such complete release, she at least
interposed between herself and her anxiety the obligation to dissemble it.
But the relief was only momentary, and when the first bars of the overture
turned from her the smiles of recognition among which she had tried to lose
herself, she felt a deeper sense of isolation. The music, which at another
time would have swept her away on some rich current of emotion, now seemed
to island her in her own thoughts, to create an artificial solitude in
which she found herself more immitigably face to face with her fears. The
silence, the _recueillement_, about her gave resonance to the inner
voices, lucidity to the inner vision, till she seemed enclosed in a
luminous empty horizon against which every possibility took the sharp edge
of accomplished fact. With relentless precision the course of events was
unrolled before her: she saw Dick yielding to his opportunity, snatching
victory from dishonour, winning love, happiness and success in the act by
which he lost himself. It was all so simple, so easy, so inevitable, that
she felt the futility of struggling or hoping against it. He would win the
competition, would marry Miss Verney, would press on to achievement through
the opening which the first success had made for him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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