Domestic fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Widows -- Fiction
That night had once seemed to her the most dreadful of her life; but she
knew now that it was one of the agonies which enrich, that the passion thus
spent grows fourfold from its ashes. She could not have borne to keep this
new vigil alone. She must escape from its sterile misery, must take refuge
in other lives till she regained courage to face her own. At the opera,
in the illumination of the first _entr’acte_, as she gazed about the
house, wondering through the numb ache of her wretchedness how others could
talk and smile and be indifferent, it seemed to her that all the jarring
animation about her was suddenly focussed in the face of Clemence Verney.
Miss Verney sat opposite, in the front of a crowded box, a box in which,
continually, the black-coated background shifted and renewed itself.
Mrs. Peyton felt a throb of anger at the girl’s bright air of unconcern.
She forgot that she too was talking, smiling, holding out her hand to
newcomers, in a studied mimicry of life, while her real self played out
its tragedy behind the scenes. Then it occurred to her that, to Clemence
Verney, there was no tragedy in the situation. According to the girl’s
calculations, Dick was virtually certain of success; and unsuccess was to
her the only conceivable disaster.
All through the opera the sense of that opposing force, that negation of
her own beliefs, burned itself into Mrs. Peyton’s consciousness. The space
between herself and the girl seemed to vanish, the throng about them to
disperse, till they were face to face and alone, enclosed in their mortal
enmity. At length the feeling of humiliation and defeat grew unbearable to
Mrs. Peyton. The girl seemed to flout her in the insolence of victory, to
sit there as the visible symbol of her failure. It was better after all to
be at home alone with her thoughts.
As she drove away from the opera she thought of that other vigil which,
only a few streets away, Dick was perhaps still keeping. She wondered if
his work were over, if the final stroke had been drawn. And as she pictured
him there, signing his pact with evil in the loneliness of the conniving
night, an uncontrollable impulse possessed her. She must drive by his
windows and see if they were still alight. She would not go up to him,--she
dared not,--but at least she would pass near to him, would invisibly share
his watch and hover on the edge of his thoughts. She lowered the window and
called out the address to the coachman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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