Domestic fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Widows -- Fiction
He lashed the ponies again, so sharply that a murmur escaped her, and he
drew them up, quivering, with an inconsequent “Steady, boys,” at which
their back-laid ears protested.
“It’s because I’m moral and respectable, and all that, that you’re fond of
me,” he went on; “you’re--you’re simply in love with my virtues. You
couldn’t imagine caring if I were down there in the ditch, as you say, with
Arthur?”
The question fell on a silence which seemed to deepen suddenly within
herself. Every thought hung bated on the sense that something was coming:
her whole consciousness became a void to receive it.
“Denis!” she cried.
He turned on her almost savagely. “I don’t want your pity, you know,” he
burst out. “You can keep that for Arthur. I had an idea women loved men for
themselves--through everything, I mean. But I wouldn’t steal your love--I
don’t want it on false pretenses, you understand. Go and look into other
men’s lives, that’s all I ask of you. I slipped into it--it was just a case
of holding my tongue when I ought to have spoken--but I--I--for God’s sake,
don’t sit there staring! I suppose you’ve seen all along that I knew he was
married to the woman.”
III
The housekeeper’s reminding her that Mr. Orme would be at home the next day
for dinner, and did she think he would like the venison with claret sauce
or jelly, roused Kate to the first consciousness of her surroundings.
Her father would return on the morrow: he would give to the dressing of
the venison such minute consideration as, in his opinion, every detail
affecting his comfort or convenience quite obviously merited. And if
it were not the venison it would be something else; if it were not the
housekeeper it would be Mr. Orme, charged with the results of a conference
with his agent, a committee-meeting at his club, or any of the other
incidents which, by happening to himself, became events. Kate found herself
caught in the inexorable continuity of life, found herself gazing over a
scene of ruin lit up by the punctual recurrence of habit as nature’s calm
stare lights the morrow of a whirlwind.
Life was going on, then, and dragging her at its wheels. She could
neither check its rush nor wrench loose from it and drop out--oh, how
blessedly--into darkness and cessation. She must go bounding on, racked,
broken, but alive in every fibre. The most she could hope was a few hours’
respite, not from her own terrors, but from the pressure of outward claims:
the midday halt, during which the victim is unbound while his torturers
rest from their efforts. Till her father’s return she would have the house
to herself, and, the question of the venison despatched, could give herself
to long lonely pacings of the empty rooms, and shuddering subsidences upon
her pillow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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